'Blood is thicker than water': WTF does that mean?
My mother tried to instill very little in us that I care to hold on to. The only thing that I have found mildly helpful is my ability to show physically and express verbally my love. We never held back, in my house growing up.
Other than that, I've had to fight, tooth and nail, every other "value" that she tried to teach us. But one thing that she always told us was that blood was thicker than water. I never really paid attention b/c I had heard the saying in movies so much that I was numb to it. Yeah, big deal. So what? I could've never imagined a time when I would love anyone more than my parents. Why would I ever love someone who wasn't my 'blood'?
But things have changed. My family consists of many people. Some blood relatives and some not. My immeadiate concern and family is my husband and my son. BUt for some reason or another, my mother still believes that she should come before and be more important than my husband b/c she's 'blood' and he's not. I could take her more seriously if she didn't abuse her blood relatives so.
What does 'blood' mean? They come first? They get the most abuse?
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
~ Groucho Marx
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I totally do not agree with "blood thicker than water". I think some of us need to chose our own families, for the sake of our emotional health. I've had to cut off a lot of my family because they just stress me out too much. I have friends who are my family, not blood related but a helluva lot more loyal and caring than anyone related to me.
It's my opinion that immediate family comes #1, meaning you and your son and your husband. I say ignore your mom. Your family, especially your child, need you first and foremost.
(and try not to feel guilty about it. I'm sure she did the same thing)
For me, family has nothing to do with blood. My father took off when I was little and my mum started dating a man who I now consider my father. Just because someone is related to you, doesn't mean you accept their abuse and baggage. I come from a huge family and there are certain people I just don't talk to; I don't have to like them because we share blood lines. For instance, I have a bornagain cousin who thinks DH and I are doomed for hell because we reject her beliefs. I can't stand her and avoid her at all costs. So, this saying is a bit ridiculous to me. I'm not going to compromise my integrity and beliefs just because someone is related to me. They don't do the same for me, right?
I read a book in college, "Bones" (can not remember the author for the life of me right now) and there was a passage that went something like, family grows through love, not bloodlines. I am butchering it, but you catch what I'm getting at.
"...And I shall know some savor of elation,
Admist the cares, the woes, and the vexation..." ~Pushkin
in a sense, i can see your mom believing that she should hold a special place for you, and i'm sure she does, because she is your blood relative. but i think what comes with that is that she show the same consideration to you. that in return for that extra special love, she earn it by extra caretaking toward you. it does not mean you can slap someone, shove them, and disrespect them and have no consequences. but you know that.
your mom... she's got some issues, huh? sorry.
"Rap music belongs in the rubbish bin! It encourages punching, boastfulness and rudeness to hos!"
well, you husband is blood now. You have a kid together and you both share a 'blood' relative. Point that out to your mom.
* I'm all fight and no flight *
* I'm all fight and no flight *
I think it means that you need to make decisions based on how they will affect the people who are closest to you. In a sense, I see it as meaning that you can't go chasing some dream at the expense of your family (however you define family). I also think that people who are not in your family (yet, or any longer) who demand that you choose them over the people who are close to you are going to lose out.
You choose your family, your mother doesn't make that choice for you.
All little girls should be told they're pretty--even if they aren't.
--Marilyn Monroe
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