Drama bullshit. I want to puke. (long)
My mother and DH got into a huge screaming match last night after she spanked DS (13 months) in front of us after weeks of us telling her not to.
DH was really calm at first, telling me "Please ask her not to do that" and leaving the room.
But when I asked her not to do it again, she freaked and started saying all this crazy shit like "If I can't discipline him, don't bring him around me". And it would've been fine b/c I'm used to her crazy, but DH heard her. So he comes storming back in saying "DS is a human being. HE deserves to be treated as such. And if you can swat him, by that same rational I should be able to swat you. I was beat when I was a kid and we're not doing that to DS".
So my mom starts freaking and crying. Saying that DH threatened her. She is SO delusional! So she goes and pouts while we start getting our shit together to leave. But she's off just thinking of things to say to hurt us. So when I go to tell her goodbye, she starts in again. Saying DH threatened her and she's so great and we don't love her. Blah, blah, blah. Just trying to manipulate. So DH walks back in while she's saying all this to me and tries to tell her again that it's not about that. It's just about spanking and we don't want to do it. And even if we did, he's way too young.
So I'm trying to get both of them quiet b/c at this point nothing productive is happening. So I'm saying , "Mom, be quiet. DH go get in the car". So she rears back and smacks the shit out of me, after pushing me several times and saying "shut up".
Well, DH loses it. He called her every name you could think of. And he was pissed. I don't think I've ever seen him that mad.
We got our shit and left.
We had been living with her temporarily. This is worst case scenario.
And she's running behind our backs telling all of our family that DH threatened her and called her a "fucking crazy ass bitch"
Well, the last part is true.
This is some Springer shit. I can't believe this really happened.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
~ Groucho Marx
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she hit ds AND you?? wow, that is so messed up--beyond words! i really think you guys need a LONG break from your mom. and major ground rules for when and if you see her again. that is just way outside of the bounds of ok. i was hit a lot as a kid and i have really really unbendable rules about it for my kids. you do not owe her much at this point. i am so sorry all of this happened.
She hit YOU??!!
Well, there you go. That's the reason people shouldn't hit kids. And she can't even see it, can she? Hitting adults. That's what happens.
Ugh. I feel for you. Are you still living with her?
That's just ridiculous. Even the people who are pro-spanking aren't pro for that young.
Sometimes it's worth it to have less money than to be living on the edge of disaster and stress like that. I hope it works out for you.
no amount of money is worth your dignity. honestly, if my mother did that to me, i would never forgive her. i would also press charges. if she won't take your word for it that assaut is wrong, maybe a prosecutor could get through that it's a crime.
"Rap music belongs in the rubbish bin! It encourages punching, boastfulness and rudeness to hos!"
She HIT two people. He threatened to hit no one, he was just trying to use logic with a monster.
Even IF he threatened to hit her, which he didn't, how is that worse than her hitting you and a 13 month old?
Time to move.
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Sunflower the unflower
I am so sorry this happened. I'd stay away from her for awhile not just because she hit you AND your son, but because she doesn't respect you and your parenting choices. I'm so glad your DH stood up for the both of you. Uggghhh. Sorry.
That sucks. So sorry you had to go through that. Also sorry that your attempt to save money by living with her did not go as planned. Nonetheless, sounds like you are better off not living with her, with or without the money. It never ceases to amaze me that some grandparents think they can override your authority as a parent. If she's going to spank him, tell her he will not be left with her unsupervised. Period. And smacking you was completely, completely out of line. It's called assault, lady.
Again, so sorry. Hang in there.
she is a fucking crazy ass bitch. she is so lucky he didn't beat her, after she assaulted his child and his partner.... very lucky. not that it would be right, but when something or someone injures your family, even the best people can be moved to violence.
i'm sorry, this has to be agonizing for you, but your DH is so in the right on this one, and so are you. maybe you can pull back from your mom for a year or so, cool off and let her understand taht how your child gets disciplined is not her call to make, and that assauting you is not alright. personally, it would be forever, not a year, if it were me. but i understand other people like to preserve their family relationships. i wouldn't ever advise anyone preserving a relationship with someone who will assault you, but i understand that it's hard to make a break from your mother. wow, this has to be tearing you apart. choosing between your new family at which you are the head, and the family where your mom was in charge. but it's definitely the right thing to do, if you're planning on breaking it off. please don't feel bad about it. no one should attack you or your child. protect yourselves first, then consider your mother.
"Rap music belongs in the rubbish bin! It encourages punching, boastfulness and rudeness to hos!"
but i don't blame him, either. i can totally understand whyhe lost it.
i am so sorry this happened though. do you know what you are going to do now?
*read the comments - sorry her crazy ass behavior messed up your plans. but no amount of debt paid off is worth that kind of abuse. i hope you get a long break from her and this drama
"Trust those who seek the truth. Doubt those who find it."
and good for DH, both of you stood your ground and YOU ARE THE SANE ONES. I know you know that but in situations like this it is easy to start thinking that you're crazy. I am sorry this puts you in a bad spot financially but you are doing the right thing putting your physical and psychological safety first. Vibes to you mama.
hey mama i am so sorry you went through that.how awful for you. you know you guys are in the right. it'll work out mama. it is very hard to return to living with a parent. i wish i had some advice but i don't. i wish i could put you up mama i surely would.
Jessica
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~~Dr.Seuss
Jessica
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~~Dr.Seuss
Right now, I think I'm in love with your DH. Especially this:
"DS is a human being. HE deserves to be treated as such. And if you can swat him, by that same rational I should be able to swat you. I was beat when I was a kid and we're not doing that to DS".
Good for him. Good for both of you. I am so glad to hear you are out of there. It is so tough dealing with a crazy mother. The money will resolve itself. Right now, you're doing the best you can for your family.
"Step off my big ass."
- Anthromom
what a horrible situation, I am sorry that you had to go through that.
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We left last night. We're at my ex-stepdad's for a little while. But we were tryi9ng to save up some money and pay off some debts by living with her. Now we'll have to find a place to rent on the cheap.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
~ Groucho Marx