at what point does it become dating?

So, the DCE (dancing civil engineer) and I have had 4 dance lessons, and one practice. We've had dinner three times (the last time was at his house, he BBQed and I brought the salad). He asked me to go clubbing tonight (what am I going to wear?! what am I going to wear?!), at a place where they play 80's music. We talk or e-mail every other day. We've made out a couple times (somewhat hindered by my cold, waaaa!), and have started to talk about our families.
Folks, I have never done the dating thing. I've hopped into bed with my share of dudes, but not this--I think it's pretty normal--get to know someone over a period of time, thing. I'm enjoying it, but I am totally at a loss for what to do.
My DD15 gives me pointers, can you believe that? Sure, I can tell her everything she wants to know about condoms, but I don't have a lot to offer in terms of building a relationship with someone. It's kinda sad. My mom didn't date, and didn't offer any advice, but I think she's bipolar or has some other functional problem, anyway.
I don't mind this going slow thing. It's nice not to have to turn my entire world upside down on account of some man, cuz boy are they dorky! But I don't have any points of reference to rely on. Like, "yes, this is how it's supposed to be" or "red light! red light!". I just feel like I've been plunged into a void.