saw this play* warning disturbing content*

Hot 'N' Throbbing

A gripping new play written by the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of "How I Learned To Drive". Screamingly funny, at the same time painful and poignant, "Hot 'N' Throbbing" boldly asks the question: Which is more obscene, pornography or domestic violence?" "Hot 'N' Throbbing is a stupendous button-pusher about how we are all complicit in today's mingling of sex, violence and power." The Washington Times

*Paula Vogel wrote "Hot 'N' Throbbing" in 1990 in response to the National Endowment for the Arts' anti-obscenity pledge engineered by Senator Jesse Helms. In her introduction to the play, she writes: "I was interested to learn that "obscene" came from the Greek, for "offstage." We have abdicated our responsibility for showing the results of violence to film, which all too often fetishisizes the act rather than its impact." During the O.J. Simpson media frenzy, her play was kept "offstage" when artistic directors told her that it was too disturbing! "Hot 'N' Throbbing" was written on a National Endowment for the Arts fellowship -- because obscenity begins at home... Some plays only daughters can write.*

Let me start by telling you that I am going to spoil the ending for you. If you would like to see this production , I enjoyed it I saw it last night courtesy of a friend and would recommend it. You can see it here in Vancouver.

The underlying premise of this play- which is more obsene- sex addiction and the sex industry or domestic violence and how do both dysfunctions within the family have effects on the entire structure was not one that I am unfamiliar with. But what was enlightening to me was the discussion that I had about the end- after the mother blows her restraining order and gives her drunken husband a drink because she feels guilty she feels responsible she wants to get him to go away nicesly and then he won't leave and they talk and the honeymoon ensues, old feelings are engaged- that is when she is in the MOST danger. Like when I was using drugs and I would experince euphoric recall and forget about the danger of the drug I was most vulnerable. In this play this woman feels bad for her husband with whom she has history, who she has loved, who she is addicted to and she gets manipulated into having sex with him. She believes herself to be incontrol of the situation because he leads her to believe it is so- she is the only woman he can get arroused for- she does not see the wolf in sheeps clothes and she is POWERLESS, over her addictive relationship pattern, over her situation, and in her life. She changes into something sexy and he chokes her to death and then kills himself. Her children find their dead parents the next morning. This scene was particullarily emotionally charged for me because it was so intensely acted that I noticed that the actress when she first came onto stage she had hand print bruises on her upper arms- not make-up. I am a survivor of intimate partner abuse, and I am so greatful that I do not accept abuse as love in any of my relationships today.

If you are presently in a relationship where you being abused get help here