Menarche celebration

my mom did nothing but i'm one of the ones who don't like their period too much.i get sever pain when ovulating and horrible cramps and massive bleeding, that said i will not project that on nessa. I would probably do more than my mom which was asked if I wanted a tampon or pad and did i need help putting it in/on whatever. I said no i was fine and that was the end of that. but my dad was right there at the time and i just walked in and said mom come here we went in the other room and i told her i had it. the only thing i'm thinking of when it comes to you and your dd is if she doesn't even want to get info from you on it do you think she'd maybe think you were going to far if you do to much? although her feelings on that may change by the time it comes. if she'd rather read a book about it she may feel overwhelmed if you do too much.

Jessica
Thinking must be strenuous work. If it weren't more people would take it up....~unknown~seen outside my children's library

I was living with my dad when I got my period and didn't have a woman around to ask about it. I put a tampon in with the applicator and all. I walked around my middle school for several hours wondering why it was pinching so bad.

My mom just seemed pissed off when I started mine in the 6th grade, and went on to tell every damn one that would sit still and listen for 5 seconds. I"m still terribly embarrassed over it to this day and it's been 17years. Holy god 17 years? Wow damn... I need a drink.

"All is in the hands of man. Therefore wash them often."
~Stanislaw J. Lec

***Mommy to Molly 11 (8/9/94 - 4/21/06), Xander 2, and Malcolm 8/19/2006***

I was also living with my Dad when I got mine. I called my best friend's mom to talk. Which was weird 'cause we never really got along, but I guess she was the next best thing to my own mom...

Funny about the applicator: I got really really sick when I was a teenager and a part of the applicator got stuck and I didn't notice for days. It didn't feel different, and I was changing tampons with no problem... Strangely, I've not been too big on using tampons since! ;)

The world is the size of our passion for changing it.- Subcomandante Insurgente Marcos

But I am a geek. I think pads are a good first choice. Do you sew at all? If you do, one thing you could do would be to head out with your daughter and find some fabric she likes and make some pads together (I think it would work out cheaper than the "bought ones" though that package sound good too).
I think a period party would be neat too. Maybe invite some of her female friends (and maybe some of yours too) after her first menstruation and just do something fun together but also recognize that your daughter has entered a new stage of her life. Small gifts (perhaps made at the party, maybe those beady bracelets?) would be appropriate, I think. It is a very important transition she will be making and it doesn't have to be new agey but she should be celebrated in some way that does make her feel special and not uncomfortable.
I got NOTHING when I started bleeding. My dad was raising us (and was NO help). I knew all there was to know about the physical process but never got any female perspective on the subject. My period started at school. I begged a pad off a girl who I knew kept a box in her locker. I was mortified. And I would have loved anyone who had said "hey, this is a special thing for you". Maybe I would have felt special instead of gross.

"I just bribed my 6 year old with 75 cents to have a tea party with his brother and sister."

I make and sell cloth pads soooo my niece and I sat down and made her pads for her first period.. She's 9 years old and just itchin' like mad to start her period now.. It excited her to be able to take charge of it.

"All is in the hands of man. Therefore wash them often."
~Stanislaw J. Lec

***Mommy to Molly 11 (8/9/94 - 4/21/06), Xander 2, and Malcolm 8/19/2006***

but I remember my mom being very open and excited and casual all at once. I wish I knew what she did specifically to make me feel so good about it. I felt really grown up and respected. It's not like she didn't respect me before that, but just that we had crossed some mother-daughter threshhold together. She did give me a new purse with a cool satin-y pouch thing to carry my supplies in. But she also told me how to tuck a pad into the front of my pants before going to the restroom at school in case I felt self-conscious about lugging my purse with me. And one time, maybe six months or so after I'd started menstruating, we were visiting her friend, and I got horrible cramps in the middle of the night. We all got up (me, my mom, her friend D, and D's daughter A, who was about 8 at the time). D got me a heating pad and made us tea. All four of us sat in D's bed drinking tea and talking about female stuff. It was great and stuck with me for all these years. Not long ago, I asked A if she remembered that night, and she did! She said that she felt a little left out that she wasn't "a woman" yet, but that she totally took mental notes for when she was.

Birth With Sol carries a great first period kit for girls, and has some suggestions about celebrations. The kit itself is expensive, but you can get good ideas from it and assemble one yourself on the cheap.

These people, Celebrate Girls, offer a kit describing the history and usefulness of menarche celebrations, and a guide for planning your own.

Here's another great one on the history of these rites, by Elizabeth Davis (of 'Heart and Hands' fame). Has a lot of great ideas.

Whew! Keep us posted!

The world is the size of our passion for changing it.- Subcomandante Insurgente Marcos

I want another daughter so bad so I can do something like this for her! It seems like such a special time that was ruined for me.

"All is in the hands of man. Therefore wash them often."
~Stanislaw J. Lec

***Mommy to Molly 11 (8/9/94 - 4/21/06), Xander 2, and Malcolm 8/19/2006***

When I got my first period my dad actually was the one who gave me the whole "well, now you're a woman and this is a time to be happy and celebrate..." speech (god, i miss him sometimes). My mom had menopause right after she had my brother when I was six (he was literally the last egg in the basket. Never had another period again after he was born.) And I think she never enjoyed hers and felt disconnected from the process at that point anyway. Anyway, I was completely mortified when my dad talked to me about it.
I would have really liked one of those beaded bracelets, though. It would have been a really nice gesture for either one of my parents to give it to me. It's discreet and special, just like the menses, and I think it conveys it well.
Thanks for the thread, now I really want to do that for Sophie when that time comes for her. Hehe, she's not even born yet and i'm already planning these things out. Never can be too prepared I guess.
Hell, I would love to have one for after my period returns. I'll have to make one. I have a feeling I would have noticed I was pregnant sooner had I had one in the first place ;P