Doing Less (Gigi or anyone else who can advise on this one)

Although I have not been blogging much lately, I still have the hipmamas in my head constantly editorializing on my life. (This is a good thing) Gigi happens to be the current hipmama voice in my head, so I am somehow thinking that she must have some words of wisdom, for me at this point. I am currently repeating a little self talk negativity thing that has been going on for a while. I am back to work, as a teacher, which I am enjoying despite the B.S. with the administration. (Thank you for the support Mamas...I imagined all of you there with the choice words you would have had to share with the admin today as I sat in a meeting:) Unfortunately, I have continued to have this little mental conversation with myself in which I start obsessing over the fact that I clearly cannot be whoever I should be or perhaps who I am until I do something more. Usually, the obsession surrounds graduate school and finding the perfect master's degree that will somehow propell me into becoming Claire Huxtable or some other fictional idea of what a modern mother should be. (I am sure much of this resurgance in the obsession is my lack of reality grounding from falling out of touch with the mamas) The administration is screwing with me, and although I have much support from other directions, I have still allowed it to affect who I see myself as being. I have totally let go of my writing, exercising, cooking for my family...and laughing. Instead I spend hours researching/obsessing about how I can make my life easier and failing to commit to anything, including the writing classes I can now finally afford, because I am overly concerned about "fixing my life". Furthermore,my coworkers, who have never seen anyone actually fight back when screwed over, are now pushing me to go back to graduate school, and become a principal so that I can "Fight the Power". In reality, I in fact have no desire to further exhaust myself and miss out on the next few years of my children's life, when I am perfectly happy in the classroom. I have noticed recently that I have begun to lose sight of the original goal which was to get a job that I could enjoy doing, pay some bills, get in a house (we just got approved for a mortgage Yeah!) all of which was to help me support my writing and being a Mama. However, I have once again fallen into the mental trap that if I don't do things in the traditional way...I suck. Several of my friends have gone back to graduate school..and of course having that sick competitive mentality that I do, I am thinking "If SHE can do it I should be able to! She has kids! She has a full time job! What the hell is wrong with me?" The result being that I am not at all mentally present in my day to day life, because my mind is constantly in the future. I become annoyed when others try to have a conversation with me, about normal everyday things...(Can't they see I am busy worrying for God's sake?) I seem to remember having a similar conversation about this last summer, and I believe that Gigi seemed to be well grounded in that regard. Thus, she is the current hipmama voice of wisdom in my head.
Sorry for the self involved post here, but I knew I was in trouble when I started picturing myself with shiny, salon straightened hair and the power suit.