Submitted by corbid on Sat, 05/29/2004 - 8:14pm
Seriously. I'm now dealing with a house full of chaos and disgustingness and just kind of attacking small bits of it at a time. But how do you undo the mess with kids underfoot and what do you do to motivate yourselves? Music? Checklists?
what works for me-
I put on a cd and resolve to keep cleaning until it's over. I start at one end of the house and work my way to the other end. I send Kai outside to play so she's out of the way. I hate the kitchen the worst so I use a timer and set it for 15-20 minutes and just do as much as I can in that time. We're working on getting rid of alot of our stuff and clutter- fewer things, less mess. I save the big things like cleaning the bathroom and mopping and changing the sheets for the weekend when Keith can help. (He's gotten much better!) I try to shoot for "clean enough", I have more important things to do than stress over perfection. And lately, while I'm cleaning, I just focus on doing what needs to be done, rather than being grossed out or resentful or wishing I were doing something else or planning what to do afterward. Do one thing at a time and do your best. Hope this helps!
day to day
in our house, it's just me and my son. so, logistically, it's far easier. but besides that, we generally clean up any messes we make that same day. for example, right now, he's making a crazy fort in the living room that involves every single stuffed animal, pillow, and blanket we own. but before he goes down for a nap this afternoon, it will all be picked up. (it's a habit more than anything, i think).
i'm also one of those obnoxious people who "can't think" when everything's in disorder - having a relatively clean house helps me keep my sanity. plus, my son likes cleaning. give him a dust rag and he'll be occupied for an hour, minimum.
i hope that helps. just do a little every day, make certain chores a habit (laundry on wednesday, floors on saturday, whatever), enlist the kids, whatever. ; ) good luck.
jen
"mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved"
ADD Freakshow
I can't keep on task at ALL. My house is just a wreck all the time. I have convenient excuses w/babe and tot, but it doesn't change the squalerific feeling I get from having a big varied mess. My BD is always obnoxiously able to clean while in charge of the kids. It's a source of HUGE silent resentment on my part. I try, but that mostly intails me looiking at the mess and feeling really overwhelmed, shaking my head, moving a few things and needing to nurse, get toddler down from thing she shouldn't be on top of, or let the goddam cat in or out. goddam cat. Peed everywhere. I had scuicidal feelings because of that cat pee. I hate cat pee and cock roaches. I digress. I was going to give you the advice I give myself when I look at the mess and want to head for the hills. This is secret family advice...I hope it helps you.
Start in a corner of the room. make piles and have a gharbage bag next to you. Don't be sentimental, but don't throw out anything important (like the social security cards or the phone number list of the gov. agencies thats on the back of last months gas bill envelope. Move through the room going clockwise...put away the piles (stay on task, don't get sucked in by the next rooms messiness. Just put things where they go in the mess) then do the floors, surfaces, then go to the next room and start in a corner. If I try and think outside the small area where I am working, I can't function. I am an ADD Freakshow about my house...I have to babystep it, I manage with the corner method when things are at fever pitch. The first 15 minutes is the hardest. Get Raindogs by Tom Waits in the sterio...it's condusive to housework.
-julia
-Hell hath none like I hath
How ironic...
One of my cats was next to me puking as I read yr post! He does hit the litter box though...
Katherine
"An institution is the lenghtened shadow of one person." Crass
I like...
To-Do Lists. Makes me feel like I am actually accomplishing something and I find that motivating. I also try to keep the house "de-crapified". In other words, I used to hang on to everything thinking I would have a garage sale or need it at some other time and I no longer do that. Every few months, I do a Goodwill donation. Also, through the generosity of friends and summers of garage sale shopping, I would have clothes up to 3-4 sizes larger for my children. I no longer do that either because I know I will always be able to find nice clothes in their size and they are rather particular about fashion and such so it is pointless.
That said, my house is in utter chaos right now because I just did yardwork yesterday and, Thursday, we went to the beach and didn't put any of our stuff away. Summers are bad at my house because we spend so much time outdoors and much less time indoors cleaning. You'd think spending less time in the house would keep it cleaner, but somehow we've never managed that.
Have you ever checked out "FlyLady"? One of my friends swears by it...
Anyone have any advice for getting motivated to do school work??? I am going to a banking school and the week beginning June 13th is my last week of that. This was supposed to be the easy week - the week I just party and coast. We are breaking up into teams and doing a bank simulation, running our own banks. I am equally proud and mortified to have been selected CEO of our bank... Much more studying and work than I had planned on. I always find something "more urgent" to do than my school work. This concerns me because June 7th, I am also going back to night school for my Business Admininstration degree... How does anyone get school work done with children around?
Katherine
"An institution is the lenghtened shadow of one person." Crass
Hi Katherine,I graduate J
Hi Katherine,
I graduate June 13th with a BA in business degree! How I handled schoolwork with the kids around was do my homework when they were doing theirs. My youngest just started kindergarten this year; when he was smaller (and when my older two were preschoolers, too) I would do my homework when he took a nap. I also wrote a lot of papers and such when they were asleep. If I had too, though, I would let them put in a video or watch a tv show, no longer than an hour, to get my work done. My time has been so pressed this last year that a few times I wrote papers an hour before I had to leave for class.
Good luck to you!
Mama Specific Productions
trula.org
Books | Babies
Thanks Trula!
So I know it is possible, right? I actually studied a bit yesterday while they were outside with friends. Studying while they work on homework is a good idea... I know, my last paper I wrote for Banking School was done with not a moment to spare. It was supposed to be post-marked by a certain date so I went to our mailroom and had them post-mark an envelope for the right day just to buy me a little more time! I hope I get more organized than that as it will be a long 4 years if I keep operating that way! I think I just need to tell myself, from this time to that time will be spent studying no matter what else happens.
Of course, I just gave up the violin because I never "found time" to practice until two days before my lesson... Thank god I don't watch tv. I would have no time for anything...
"An institution is the lenghtened shadow of one person." Crass
Schedule your Cleaning
What I do about cleaning is I schedule something every day. I do not do my daily chores all at once but interspersed throughout my day. What motivates me is that I do not do well in a dirty and/or chaotic environment...when my house is dirty it really affects how I feel; it creeps me out and makes me feel bad. So I'd much rather make the effort to keep my house clean than to not clean. Not cleaning doesn't benefit me in any way. Keeping my house clean does. Here's my current schedule, feel free to use/amend for yourself:
Daily:
Make bed (kids make their own)
Clear & wipe down tables & counters
Sweep hard floors downstairs
Vacuum carpet
Water plants
One load of laundry (usually towels)
Sunday:
Wipe down stairs
Mop kitchen floor
Monday:
Brush and wipe down toilets
Mop upstairs bathroom
Tuesday:
Straighten dresser tops
Wipe down TVs, computers, stereo
Wednesday:
Clear out one shelf
Clean mirrors
Thursday:
Sweep hard floors upsatirs
Mop downstairs bathroom
Friday:
Clear out one drawer
Dust
Saturday: Organize my closet (kids and husband do their own)
If you have any children over 4 give them chores to do as well. My kids have to keep their rooms clean and each of them has 2 additional chores: My daughter, who is 15, has to clean out the fridge thoroughly once a month and keep the shelves and inner door wiped down twice a week. She also has to wash the hallway going down the stairs once a week. My oldest son, who is 9, has to sweep the front and back porches every day and keep them organized. He also has to keep the bathroom sinks free of clutter and wipe them down. My youngest son, who is 6, has to wash the dishes every day and feed the cats. They all have to put their clean clothes away and straighten their closets once a week and my sons have to take out the trash to the curb for pick-up once a week.
If you have children 2-4 have them pick up their toys and put their dirty clothes in the hamper. If you are not picky about folding they can also put some of their clothes away at this age. It has been my experience that Fours really like to help with the dishes. Have them help you wash and dry your non-breakable dishes and put them away. By six they might be ready to handle doing the dishes all on their own.
If you are married or living with a man try to get his assistance. I know this can be difficult. It can be emotionally painful. All of your feminist sensibilities will rail against the unfairness of it all. Older long-term married women gave me this advice: Ask your man nicely to do some housework and thank him when he does. Do not berate his cleaning or do his work over if he does it differently or less thoroughly than you. Over time he will improve. Follow this with a reward of some kind, such as extra attention, his favorite meal or dessert, or allowing him to watch a game or go out with his friends without hearing any complaint from you. It is also very important!! to not ask your man to do any housework as soon as he gets home from work, before work, or early on his day off. Let him hear you talking about how helpful he is to your friends and family.
I resisted doing this for years because I thought it was sexist and demeaning to both of us but once I started I could have kicked myself because it made a world of difference in how my husband responded to my requests for his help in keeping the house clean. There was a time when he wouldn't even pick up his dirty socks and underwear off our bedroom floor!!! Once I threw a boycott and wouldn't pick up any of his stuff and by the end of the month our bedroom floor was covered with his dirty socks, t-shirts, underwear, and assorted pants and shirts and our bedroom smelled like a locker room. He only picked it all up because he didn't have anything clean to wear.
Now, he does his part with no prompting or begging from me. He does the bulk of the laundry once a week! keeps the bathtub and bathroom walls clean! keeps his closet together and keeps his clothes off the floor! He also keeps the inside part of the windows clean, he'll mop the kitchen and bathroom floors if I ask him to, does all the yard work (mowing, shoveling snow, etc.) and keeps the garage clean.
Mama Specific Productions
trula.org
Books | Babies
I'm not a highly motivated person
so I hope someone else posts a reply with some inspiration for both of us. I usually choose the chore that I feel like doing. If I don't really want to do any housework, sometimes I put on music and start something, and often get into it after I force myself to start. Completing one task usually leads to another, time and energy permitting. On days when I can't stand the thought of doing a damn thing around the house, I put it off until another day. As long as we are clothed and fed, most other things can wait.