christmas blahs
any one else have the christmas blahs? I just don't feel christmasie this year. maybe it is the pressure from my mom for it to be the perfect Norman Rockwell, angel babies first Christmas. or the whole schlep 8 hour up to my parents house with a 9 month old. or the fact that DH interviewed for a new job and got word (on our 6 year anniversary) that he did not get it, which of course put him in a crap mood for the rest of the anniversary day. or maybe it is that i live in the south now and they keep talking about how it is going to be a cold day here (it's 48 today) so it just does not feel wintry to me. or it could be the dread of the whole family (my gay sister's partner included for the 1st time in 9 years) being under the same roof for a week. my thanksgiving visit with the folks sent me into a self esteem nose dive. i need to snap out of it because i have a ton of things to do before we leave fri. and i want to enjoy dd's first christmas/hanukkah. any advice?
i have the xmas blahs as well.....no check, thus no tree; etc etc. i wish i had advice, but all i can say is hang in there. its only one day, then its over. keep posting to vent, it helps.
"Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies." - Nietzsche
Well, no advice. Sometimes fake smiling will actually put you in a cheery mood (there are chemical and biological reasons for this--and when I occasionally do this, my fake smile is private)
I took the birth of my baby as a cue that it was time for christmas morning to be an event in my own home. And it was wonderful. She was 10 months old on first christmas, and one set of grandparents drove 5 hours to spend the night here. My mom still has children, so in some years past I had still been spending christmas morning with them. We do still trek around for dinners, etc, though.
I am curious about your sister. what do you mean by included? I assume she's had the same partner? Why hasn't she been included in years past? Don't tell me sis would attend without her partner.
I've met more people over the past couple of years who start to dread the holidays. There are so many expectations we put upon ourselves & others & somehow the "spirit" of the holiday season goes awry. You can't afford to buy the gifts for your loved ones that you would like; they of course, will buy you lovely things. I always feel like crap when that happens. This year I made a point of asking some family & friends if we could forego the usual exchange. All sounded abolutely fine & somewhat relieved. My DD just reminded me last week that I need to learn to accept gifts with gratitude & graciousness, especially when I don't have anything to reciprocate with. She said lots of other things too, which are the same things I would have said to her in this situation. Hang in there, you don't have to buy into the horrible commercialism that is so pervasive now. Enjoy what little you have - you have a roof over your head, some food on the table & it's your DD's first Christmas. thank god, they don't remember squat & don't get greedy for several years. Love your family & you can make it through. My rule was that once you start having kids, you get to call the shots of where you'll spend the holidays. You've got the kid & all supplies to schlep with you. So, maybe next year, you can decide to keep your little family where you are. Hope all goes well for you.
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My sister would come, but after she came out (or rather was outed through a chain of gossip) my parents went a year without speaking to her. My father came around and has done some reading about gay children, but my mother is still having trouble. My sister, and said partner, live in MA and there for were able to get married this year. My mother refused to even talk about the wedding until about 2 months before it happened, and did not decide to attend until a few weeks before. So my sis has had to keep up two separate lives until this year. It has been really hard, and since I have been the only one in support of her I kind-a end up in the middle. (Which don't get me wrong I realize it is still less crappy for me then for my sister.) Anyway, my mother is making all kinds of plans for sis' partner's first visit. So everything should be ok, but we sometimes have a hard time just the family, so when you add the tension of my mother not being able to deny my sister's gayness, it puts us all on edge a little. Oh and yes same partner all 9 years.