What's your take
I have to share one more store for today so that I can get a reality check. As per my earlier blog I am not in the best frame of mind right now. So I feel I need an outside perspective on if this is something to be annoyed with or not. So earlier I called the store I used to work at to talk to a friend who works there. She and I have been friends since about Junior year of high school. However, since I had DD 9 months ago she has not been around much. The last time she saw DD was about 2 months ago when we stopped by the store. So she gets on the phone and is sort of acting like she has better things to do then deal with me. (She is doing my job since I left so I know what her day is like. I am not trying to be unsympathetic to the fact that she was working. And I was calling to buy something not to BS or anything.) As we are talking DD starts to fuss. I pick her up and say to her well honey say "up" (a word she started saying a few weeks ago) don't just fuss. My friend says, "gees, she is only like 6 month old." To which I replied, "She is 9 months old now and she has been saying up." So she replies "ok,L" in a snarky tone. So feeling defensive I said, "she has." Another "Ok, L" "DH's mother and mine claim we talked very early, but walked late so I think she will do the same" "Ok, L." I got off the phone feeling like what the hell. She is single, with no kids and has not seen my DD more than 3 times in 9 months and yet she thinks she knows her better. I am sure I am making a mountain out of a mole hill here, but it just pisses me off that she was being so openly snarky after not being a part of our lives. (and after I watched her damn cat for her over Thanksgiving.) Anyway, that's my story. What's your take on it?
This sounds like my sister. She doesn't often take my word for it that DD is doing stuff. And my sister is a very know-it-all kind of person (without kids, I might add). Maybe your friend is like that? It's irritating, but I'd ignore it. Not much you can do about it. You know you're not lying about what DD can and can't do. And, just an aside, maybe your friend is having a crappy day and taking it out on you. Which isn't cool, but it's a possibility.
i know that her comment hurt, i'm sorry for that.
considering that you've been friends for a long time, i'm wondering if she was just busy at the store, or had others things on her mind and didn't realize how she was coming across on the phone.
could you mention it to her? would she just get defensive or deny it? it's hard to tell....
something else to consider might be whether or not she's jealous of where your at in your life. we all know how much life changes after having children, sometimes close friends change with it, or against it...
i think it's worth talking to her about when your ready to, because your feelings are hurt and it sounds like maybe other issues have popped up for you regarding your friendship with her, and how you both feel right now.
from my own experience it's never easy to deal with relationships changing. many times i've had close friends that drifted off onto their own paths, and if i was lucky i was able to reconnect with them years after the fact. sometimes not.
at any rate, it's your decision, and i think it's great that your daughter is talking so early.
love and take care,
dc
part=time ninja/full=time mama
Yep, you are in completely different spaces right now & sometimes it's hard to understand each other. I think you're in the baby-space you need to be in & she's still in her single-foot-loose & fancy-free space. It's really hard to relate to each other right now. At least it was in my experience. My best friend was single & I was the married w/kid friend. At first, it was easy to get together, but as time went on, my conversations tended toward baby accomplishments or my issues, while hers tended toward dating, work, etc. It's sad to say that we did drift apart, but recently reconnected after 30 some years & now have grandkids in common. It doesn't seem like it should be hard for longtime friends to remain friends, but babies do change things, like it or not. It doesn't mean you ditch your buddies, but just realize they don't have a clue what you are going through. Neither did you until you had DD!
her snarky comment. She's not a mom, she may also have no idea what a child can do at what age. As for the rest, your friendship may be changing and that happens.
I know the tone of voice you're describing, though. My own HUSBAND did this to me on the day our son first walked. He was exactly 7 1/2 months old that day, and while our daughter had walked at 10 months, I think that we didn't fully understand that some babies walk at 7 mos. So, my son walked and I told my husband on the phone, and he said, "Oh, sure. OK. That's exciting." (Totally not believing me!) I felt like, What the hell? I wouldn't make this up and I'm not imagining things! I didn't say anything, just repeated that he really did walk. That night, my husband came home and got to see our little new walker for himself. He tells this story to people all the time, about how he didn't really believe me.
My point, I guess, is that especially when kids do things early or exceptionally well, you may get this attitude from your friend or anyone else for that matter.
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Having talked to DH about it and reflected a bit I think we are in different places and I am ok with that. I am not ok with her being kind-a crappy to me. I think she is not happy with her life and she likes me better when I am unhappy also. I had been noticing before this that she was increasingly negative when I talk to her. Anyway, I wish she could have been more supportive, but I feel like maybe we are better off not being "best friends" right now. She needs to find her way as a single gal and I need to find mine as a new mama.