Quick before the family arrives!
I need help! I seriously don't know what the hell is wrong with me, and I think I am driving DH insane! He suggested I start writing a blog everyday to see if getting me feelings out might help. (I think the truth is that he just doesn't know what to tell me.) The headaches, the little dizzy spells, my milk coming and going, and suddenly I am crying at EVERYTHING! Yesterday I was watching the Today Show and Al was doing a cooking segment with Rachael Ray. They were talking about her wedding, and the holidays and I started to cry. I DON"T EVEN LIKE RACHEAL RAY! (She kind-a annoys me.) I also cried at Oprah. Then last night before bed DH and I had this fight because I tried to talk to him about all the crying and he started talking about Oprah's Favorite Things Show. I got so upset I would not talk to him and I started to cry. Now it is annoying that he was not paying attention to the issue at hand, but usually I just ask him if he can focus for half a second, not wig out on him. Someone suggested maybe I am pregnant again. But I am still nursing and using birth control pills. Do you think I need to go get my hormone levels checked, or do you think it is just post pregnancy hormones mixed with the first holiday season with DD? Either way my family arrives tomorrow and (as stated in earlier blogs) they are not always easy on the old self esteem. How do I keep from being a blubbering mess the whole weekend? I have found you all to be a supportive and knowledgeable group so I am hoping you will come to my aid.
i was on bc pills and not supposed to be able to have children and then ....bingo! i've got twins! i also have a friend who was nursing her 6 week old when she got pregnant again. i would get a pregnancy test, then go from there. also, i found that crying and being a blubbering mess in front of my family made them lay off...it may work for you too. good luck!
"Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies." - Nietzsche
I usually set aside some me time every day that we have guests. Even if it is as simple as, "I need to run to the grocery store, I am going to go by myself, does anyone need to pick anything up while i am out?" "Okay thanks. I will be back in an hour or so." Then i drive around in circles, stop at a coffee shop park somewhere and scream and yell at the top of my lungs while i sit in the car.... It usually helps and if you do this you HAVE to say I am going by myself. Otherwise EVERYONE will want to come with you, especially the people you are trying to get away from.
stress, you know. Stress is a super powerful force. The holidays are rapidly approaching, which means family (for better AND worse) stress, financial stress, food stress...I won't keep listing or I"LL start to cry too!! This is all new! Add into the mix your normal, everyday baby stress (and your hormones) and I'm surprised you were able to stop crying long enough to type your blog!
Give yourself a break, please. If you need to cry, cry. And just ask DH to be patient. You're going to be fine. Look how strong you are! Blow your nose, look in the mirror, and tell yourself that you're wonderful. Tell yourself that, in fact, you are so wonderful, that you actually deserve a break from everything. Deep breaths...
And...yeah, I guess you might want to take a pregnancy test, just in case.
I'm telling you...I'm 4 months out, I still cry, I had some post-partum depression, and the midwife recommended this. We went to the natural grocery store and got a tincture of it, to try it out...it's awesome! And it works pretty damned quick too. I call it the attitude adjuster. I'm sure that the birth control pills aren't helping. They make me crazy, even without nursing hormone.
"You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep spring from coming." Pablo Neruda
"Fundamentally the markswoman aims at herself" DT Suzuki
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Thanks for the advice. I am assuming it is safe to use while nursing? And I know about the pills, but I just can't deal with condoms and I am not careful enough to use more natural methods.