Shaking, Hitting, & Scratching
I have two questions about my 8 month old. First she has started shaking her head all the time. Not in response to anything. Just all the time. Hubby got worried and now has me worrying. Is this normal?
Second, she its and scratches my face all the time. When I hold on to her hand and tell her no that hurts Mommy, she smiles at me. I know she just doesn't understand what no and it hurts means, but she really does hurt sometimes. Any advice on how to make her stop?
we have the same daughter!
When dd was that age, she also started shaking her head all the time, and I got really worried. It didn't look as if she was having convulsions, and she was otherwise happy and healthy, so I figured it was a phase. It lasted for a few months, and now (almost 13 months old) she doesn't do it anymore except when she actually means 'no'. I wouldn't be too worried, if I were you. Ask your pediatrician if it'll set your mind at ease.
She also hits and scratches my face, and thinks that it's the funniest thing ever. I just do what you're already doing: I gently move her hands away and say 'no' while explaining that she's hurting me. If she gets really rough, I move her away from me and just deal with the fact that she's going to be upset about it for a few minutes. I'm hoping that this will work eventually. We also have a cat that dd loves to pet, so we're working on the whole concept of gentleness. She understands the word now, and it seems to help to remind her to be gentle while she's clobbering me about the head!
Good luck! Please let me know if you find anything that really works!
The world is the size of our passion for changing it.- Subcomandante Insurgente Marcos
Oh, yes. Teaching "gentle..." seems to be easier than teaching NOT to be rough. Plus, it's more of a positive, something they CAN learn and do, rather than another NO.
Try the fake cry if she hurts you.
That's what we call it at my house. Whether she's over-joyed with love, or totally pissed, we get the smack-down. My advice--get used to it, it will likely be a year before this subdues. Learn to be quick and how to block and defend yourself. Try not to get angry about it (I KNOW it's hard when you're being hurt and injured) remember that she had ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT that she is hurting you. Or that you even feel pain. As smart as they are, that concept is just to sophisticated. I also believe even if it comes across that you are in pain (through crying or a scream) that is so startling or scary, they totally lose the context of it happening right after their "hurty love" behavior. The good news: trimming her nails may become easier. It really did for my dd.
And it seems to me that it's around 18 mos when they can really start understanding/complying with "No."
No idea about the head shaking.
That's what we call Heyd. He shakes his head and screams like a monkey. My FIL is a pediatrician, and he said it's normal, like hair pulling or farting. It's something they do because they like how it feels.
Baby gave me a bloody lip this morning and laughed when tears welled up. I guess I look pretty silly when I cry.
DD did the head shaking too. It freaked me out, as DS never did it, so I thought she had an ear infection, or worse.
Anyhaow, BD's cousin, who is a vet, likened it to a dog shaking his/her ears. It feels GOOD! Yay! And I can do it all by myself! Now it's turned into (at 13 months)"No, no,no..." maybe they need practice for that.
The hitting is actually a good lesson time for us, as we have two dogs now. We can model the "gentle with daga" thing, and it really seems to help. She's still gentler with daga than mama, but as time goes by they do get it.
"Our problems stem from our acceptance of this filthy, rotten system." - Dorothy Day
"Step off my big ass."
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We have 2 dogs so we work on gentle a lot. I also hold her hands tell her, "no that hurts mommy" and then show her how to touch my face gently while I say, "see gentle touches." But she just smacks me again after I let go. And I do realize she has NO IDEA what ouch means or no, but sometimes she does break the skin. (Despite the nail trim I do every 4 days or so.) So it makes it hard for me to not react strongly.