Can anyone do it alone...and how

momma you got a lot going on. First thing first, you are NOT, i repeat, NOT failing as a mom. Being a mom is difficult even whe you have a village around you. That is if you are a good mom. There are those people who ignore their kids and pawn them off to other people to raise them (ahhh-movie stars) but I don't think that is what you are loking for. Secondly, you HAVE to talk to your dh and tell him you need him to find more time to be a father. There is always a way he can keep his butt up for an extra hour and a half while you take a bath and read/go for a walk. whatever. I am a single momma, I don't go to bed until midnight most nights because I have to do stuff, what is this about a dad getting 12 hours of sleep while the momma is tired and frustrated? And how do those of us that don't have a dh do it. HEll if I know. I just get up everyday and do it. Some days are better than others, and I have some good friends who help out on occasion I have a freakish addiction to the tv show Six Feet Under...and I have learned to occasionally enjoy a beer or vodka tonic. I also cry a lot.
On a good note though, my ds is WORTH EVERY MINUTE. Hang in there momma and stay in touch with us.

For example, today I took the 8 yo and the newborn to the ice cream shop. There, since the car ride lulled the baby to sleep, I was able to read the free newspaper and find several things around town to do over the next few weeks. These activities give me something to look forward too. Another way I plan our time is by planning meals. I know that feeding the baby and cooking will kill time. Finally, it's nice to have some project that actually makes you want to have extra time in the day. For me, homeschooling is working like this. Perhaps you could make a commitment to get one thing accomplished every day like cleaning a room, getting to a yoga class, taking your daughter to see something/do something at home or outside. After I've accomplished this one thing, I feel better about myself and like I'm heroically doing it alone instead of miserably doing it alone.

***Hurricanes, animal corpses and your potential new tattoo have a lot in common. Think about it. From: http://www.msxnet.org/humour/terror_alert

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Going bonkers in an impossible situation does not equate with being a failure as a mother.

My dh used to travel two weeks out of three, and I was home full-time with three kids (we homeschool.) The only saving grace was the fact that we had a housemate who would occasionally watch the children so that I could get out, either at the crack of dawn or in the evening.

My suggestion is that you find babysitters. Check with the local YMCA or YWCA -- they often have babysitting classes, and can probably put you in touch with kids who are certified. You can also check with the local high school -- they can put you in touch with the kids who are taking the various childcare classes.

Or if you're not comfortable leaving your little one alone with a babysitter (Mine were much older than 8 months before I was comfortable with it, but everyone has a different comfort level) you can hire a junior high kid to be a "mother's helper." Translation: they take care of the baby in one part of the house while you go write or cruise the net or take a bubble bath with a glass of wine or soak your head or create art or just sit for one damned minute on the bed when you don't have to take care of the kid, just one minute, please. If you know what I mean, and from the sound of it, you do.

Sitters are worth their weight in gold when it comes to sanity. And a good sitter is a treasure. Do some looking around and find yourself one, or several, and give yourself a break.

but that was just my situation, baby's dad would not want to hold him because he was busy rolling a joint. If I insisted, he made me feel guilty about being "sick of our baby". I literally held ds 23 hours a day for the first few months of his life. He was on my lap, and usually nursing, when I went to the bathroom, bathed, changed clothes- everything. I became ambidextrous! I was also expected to cook dinner for when bd came stumbling through the door at 12 am every night, and keep baby from crying before he woke up after sleeping it off till 3 or 4 pm. I saved up some christmas money and I bought a sling. That was a lifesaver. I spent A LOT of time outside, with the baby in layers of clothes. Fortunately all that outside time helped him sleep as well, and is good for their immune system, too.
My biggest sanity saver, I would put him in the stroller, all bundled up, and get the portable phone, and walk a rut in the sidewalk in front of our duplex, talking to my friends, my mom, and one old boyfriend who would tell me all those "you're doing a great job" type things I needed to hear.
I also practically lived at the library. Then, after he was 6 months old, I renamed Baby Einstein videos as "mommy's naptime movie" and I'd curl up like a letter c around ds while he propped up on my tummy and pass out for the 30 min that he was rivited to the dancing puppets. This stuff may not work for everyone, but hey- desperate measures, you know? I agree with what the other mom said about planning ahead, and the mom-baby yoga, too. I wish I'd had H.M. back then!
But I really really think that you should avoid living with a family that gives you self esteem issues. I'm in that situation now and sure, I have help with the baby,I have company, but it's just stressful, and remember stress begets more stress.
One thing I gained is a closeness to my baby-I'm glad at least for that- that I am able to totally read my little guy, even now that he's a toddler, I can FEEL his moods, you know? And it gets better, they get older- soon enough you'll miss it, when they start wanting you to put them down so they can run around. Don't feel like a failure. It's just HARD. You're doing well and you sound like a strong, smart woman, which is awesome. You're there for your kid, and that's the reward.

"vivre, vivre pliens bras de lumieres"- Tristan Tzara