Tattoos and piercings - how much is too much?
Someone dear to me has become very interested in body modification. Tattoos, piercings, and increasing the gauge of her ear piercing. She is in college. She has a myriad of tattoos, a bar across the top of her ear, pierced tongue, pierced lip, pierced eyebrow, pierced belly button and I don't ask about anything further. She's dating someone whose entire body is covered with tattoos, including tattooed on sideburns.
I'm ultra conservative in my taste. I've grown very aware over the past five years or so of my strong prejudice against tattoos, which seems to be shared by many from my generation and older, and while I still cringe inwardly at the sight of tattoos (and piercings beyond ears - I don't even like two holes in one ear, that's how conservative my taste is!), I think I've come pretty darn far in realizing that they don't tell me an awful lot about the person sporting them.
I know there are many tattoo/piercing bearers and lovers here, and maybe a few mamas like me who say no thanks!, and I realize this is entirely a matter of taste without any correct answer, so tell me for you personally, is there such a thing as too much?
there is such a thing as too much if you ask me. don't get me wrong, i like tattos and i like some piercings beyond the nose...but when one begins to see more metal and ink than beautiful flesh...ehhh...I could do without that.
i realize that my views on this are probably on the conservative side...I guess I just really love the human form and when it begins to look fake and metallic it looses it's beauty to me.
I'll be honest. I love piercings. I have three myself, navel, nipple and tongue. I have no tatoos but I want one or two before I get too old. If I could get out of the rut secretarial job I'm in I'd probably do more with the jewelry end of it. I've always wanted to get my lip done. Just a small silver hoop in the corner. As far as everything else, yes, I do think there is a too much area, but it's a personal thing. Live and let live, I think.
Love and Peace
Rachaelsmama
Love and Peace
Rachaelsmama
live and let live. i hope i did't come off as sounding too snotty...
but I think it depends on the person and the quality of the tattoos. I have seen some people covered in high-quality, interesting tattoos and they looked great. A bunch of crappy tatttoos...eh, not so much. I have come to where I don't really mind any piercings...I guess I am so used to seeing them now. Oh wait, I did see this skinhead guy at a show once and his entire face (cheeks and all) was pierced and it kind of shocked me and looked a little monsterous...to me. He had a really cute girlfriend who didn't seem to mind.
I have no tattoos and only ears pierced.
When did the lemons learn the same creed as the sun?
When did smoke learn how to fly?
--Pablo Neruda
I agree with a.k.a. Kathy.....
I have a degree in illustration and you really notice when people have scratch jobs and haven't put much thought into their tattoos. It really looks low class and trashy.
On the other hand a full sleeve that is well done can be a wonderful thing to look at.
I do have to say I have see some really old "poor" quality tattoos on some old people (men and women), and they have a outsider/folk art beauty all their own. People have been tatooing themselves for millenia. Its purely a cultural thing. Some cultures its the high class/royalty that gets inked. I usually find it interesting to look at and have usually been wrong about a person when I used to judge folks by the ink on their skin.
I love old blurry anchors tatooed on sailors and I have seen a lot of veteran tatoos that I really loved. I imagine how the men looked when the tattoos were done and all fresh and crisp.
'if anyone wants to join me in the revolution, you are welcome.'-nomad
* I'm all fight and no flight *
He could tattoo the whole rest of his body and I wouldn't mind, I just really hope he never does it to his face, because I love it the way it is. His piercings, however...I love the nipple rings, but 2 of his facial piercings are costing us thousands of dollars! He took out his tongue ring and labret at the insistance of his dentist. Why? Well, the tongue ring ( which he had in for 10 years) has killed the backs of his 4 front teeth, which now have to be replaced, to the tune of $3,000.00 a piece, out of pocket not covered by our dental ins. The labret wore down the gums below his front bottom teeth, so he's also going through 3 expensive and very painful gums surgeries, and in one of them, they are implanting cow cells in his gums to try to re-stimulate bone growth where he wore down the bones that hold those teeth in! To me this is far too cotsly for whatever cool points the piercings earned him or how good he felt about how it made him look. Rachael'smama. PLEASE don't get any more mouth area ones unless you have really strong teeth and bones, or super great dental insurance! We could take a few romantic vacations for what we'll spend on dh's teeth, now! The only useful piercings on a man, in my opinion, are the penile ones. They at least serve a purpose, and I'll tell you (dh doesn't have any) though they take about 6 months to fully heal (i've heard) the lifetime of pleasure they will bring a woman is well worth the wait! I have ear piercings, and had my nose pierced twice. I am woriking on filling in half - sleeves on my arms. I will get one "tramp stamp" tattoo on my lower back, and one small one on my wrist, and call it all done.
Film used to be my whole world, I even won awards and s**t. Now all I care about is being a Mama and jamming some girl, or punching her while I fly by on skates.
"I think I've come pretty darn far in realizing that they don't tell me an awful lot about the person sporting them."
And I think this is the important thing, isn't it? That something as surface as a tattoo or a piercing is not representative of the whole person. Sure, there are reasons why people get the piercings and tattoos that they have, but they are in no way indicative of the person as a whole. I just don't think it matters. People have different preferences in this area as in most. It's a personal thing. I don't think a person can say what is too much or not enough for someone else.
for any job, regardless of tats. let me rephrase that: i wouldn't let tats or body mod disqualify a person. no matter what the job. i may be in the minority, but i think you'd be surprised how accepting people are now.
"I've done a lot of things in my life I ain't too proud of, and the things I am proud of are disgusting." - Mo Szyslak
i have eight tattoos; my lip is pierced, and once upon a time, my tongue was pierced {badly - unpleasant time}.
i grew up around bikers and truckers and vets - often one person in all three categories, and tattoos were not unusual in my world. some of them really amazed me - the people and their tats.
in high school, i knew folks who got inked {blurry greenness} by the ex-con husband of an older friend who had a homemade tattoo thingy. no amazing art, but also no intention to shock or dismay. just life.
when i got my first tat, i was nineteen and in my third year at college. no one i knew in college had tats. they weren't influencing me. there was just something very important to me that i felt moved to put in indelible ink in my skin. it's still very important to me, and that tat has helped me keep it in mind on several occasions since then. it's been pretty much the same with each one for me.
all that said, i know there are "modern primitives" {i find that very label racist and offensive, but maybe that's just me} who are into body modification as an end unto itself. it is possible that your relative is involved in that scene. even so, i doubt she's doing what she's doing without making a conscious choice. piercing and especially tattoos are painful, intense, potentially transformative experiences. you might get a nose ring or a tiny rose on your shoulder to be trendy, but i doubt you'd go to the lengths your relative has without actively choosing it for yourself. does that make sense?
i mean, she may be rebelling against someone, but i wouldn't automatically categorize her body mods as mere acting out. it used to drive me nuts when i was trying to individuate that my ma thought everything i did that she didn't like i did solely because she didn't like it. people just often make different choices than their elders without those choices being rooted in alienating the elders, ya know?
"if i pass for other than what i am/do you feel safer?" ~lani ka'ahumanu
"if i pass for other than what i am, do you feel safer?" ~ lani ka'ahumanu
dragon knows dragon
though i had some concerns about having to replace my lip ring with a clear stud to appear in court, i actually didn't have to do so. in kansas city, in the heart of the midwest, i encountered no difficulty representing clients in court with a facial piercing.
here in oakland, i work for a non-profit with a fairly conservative standard of office dress, but i've never been hassled for my lip ring or the tattoo that's visible on the back of my neck and shoulders above my collar since i got my hair cut or the tats on my wrists and legs that are often visible.
i did have an office job here that required me to trade my lip ring for a stud.
i'm not saying there might not be obstacles - only that they might not be as large or frequent as you might expect.
also, i didn't move to the bay area because i felt defeated by the discrimination in the midwest. i moved here because i wanted to live in a more varied cultural environment with more queers, freaks, mixed bloods, and progressives. maybe that seems like a semantic quibble, but there's a real emotional difference between moving away from something and moving to something. if your relative moves to a more progressive locale, i'd imagine she might think of it similarly.
"if i pass for other than what i am/do you feel safer?" ~lani ka'ahumanu
Not even sure what it means. I'll look it up.
I'm sure she's making a conscious choice and I just tossed in a few of the factors which I think are in play. I'm sure there's much more to it than rebelling and the crowd, and I didn't really make that clear above. So you knew no one in college with tattoos when you got yours, but that is definitely not her situation.
Anyway, you're a great person to ask. Are yours visible? Large? Can you hide them? Have you ever felt the need or desire to hide them in certain situations? Did they affect your employment in any way? What sort of job, one in a conservative, liberal or neutral environment?
Thanks for your input, mamaneen. 
I appreciate it.
Modern Primitives was the best tattoo shop in Rhode Island.
Love and Peace
Rachaelsmama
i think i was answering most of your questions while you were writing them. how odd.
okay, for the ones i didn't catch - visibility depends on clothing for mine, and i think for most tattoos, unless they're on face or hands - well, i guess there's always gloves and ski masks. 
the one on my back is large; the ones on my wrists and ankle are small, and the ones on my calves and biceps are medium sized.
actually, i feel more frustrated that most clothes i feel comfortable wearing these days cover my tattoos. part of my relationship to them is as a kind of armor that somehow feels more effective when visible. there's a lot more ink i'd like to have done, money permitting, but i doubt i'll ever get anything on my face, hands or feet.
to clarify, i wasn't saying that because i didn't know any college students with tattoos that your relative didn't. i was just trying to offer an alternative perspective on body modification rooted in my own experience. hope it's helpful in some way.
"if i pass for other than what i am/do you feel safer?" ~lani ka'ahumanu
Funny.
Yes, your experience is helpful, and I thank you for sharing it with me, mamaneen.
Gloves and ski masks. lol
to be helpful; you're very welcome.
yeah, now, gloves and ski masks - that might limit your employability to, um, bank robber? extra in a quentin tarantino movie?
"if i pass for other than what i am/do you feel safer?" ~lani ka'ahumanu
When I reread your post, I realized that you had specifically asked about personal preferences. I guess because you were asking about someone else whose choices you might not agree with, I guess that's what made me say that. Anyway, I would agree with others, if I were an employer my decision to hire or not to hire someone would not be influenced by whether they had tattoos or not. It shouldn't make anymore difference than the color of someone's hair or something like that, in my opinion. People do have their biases, of course. But I agree that people are a lot more open-minded these days. Many of the people I know and work with have tattoos. Some of them visible, some not. One of my three is visible. I'm planning to get a fourth that will be visible. I don't think it will make a difference.
My religion is anti-tattoo because of the Jews who were forcibly tatooed by the Nazi's. These are the ones that really get to me, when I see numbers on the inside of a person's wrist or forearm. It gives me chills. Growing up, I always wondered why the survivors didn't get rid of them. I think that I understand why now; it is a visible reminder of what they endured and what they survived.
So, I don't have any tattoos. For the reason above and for some other reasons. I am pierced, though. Currently I have genital and ears. (I had nipple but took them out while nursing and my nipples are too sensitive yet to put them back in). It is kind of like my own little secret gift to myself. Kind of a "you may think you know me" kind of a feeling.
I guess for me, "too much" is when body modifications interfere with someone eating, sleeping or otherwise living their life. And that's pretty personal decision for most people.
Would I hire someone? That's a tough call. My business is dependent on people being able to build relationships. I suppose I would be willing to give someone a shot and see how they did. My industry is pretty conservative but maybe ???
i agree it's best not to make negative assumptions about a person based on their tats and piercings.
each of my tattooes and piercings has had a specific meaning to me, and that's the main thing. however, some of them were also intended to let observers know something about me - like that i'm queer {yes, my ex and i got matching tats replete with almost all the dyke cliches - rainbow colors, double women symbols, _and_ a purple triangle. later on, ex completed her tat cliche set with a labrys on the other arm.}, for example.
of course, i have my own biases. i'm a total tat snob - not necessarily for quality, but for originality. if your ink looks like it came off the wall at the tattoo shop, i'm probably gonna assume that you are just following the trend, not claiming yourself. bad, i know.
"if i pass for other than what i am/do you feel safer?" ~lani ka'ahumanu
I have three tatts, all black and am going to get a "sleeve" around my ankle to cover and old one. I have had my nose and tongue pierced in the past. Most people think I am very conservative (which surprises me everytime) and the only thing I don't like is getting judgmental looks from people who I am fairly sure are younger than me.
All my tattoos are coverable. I have no noticeable trademark rebellion. I find it very funny when others at a park or something comment to me about other's tatts. Just something to gnaw on.
i was always too icky about needles to get piercings and tats myself, but i always look longingly at good ink. i am very stretched out now and can't even find a place for a good tat...but i think body art can be really beautiful. as with anything, there is good looking ink and sloppy...but all of my friends were pierced way a back in the early 80's so i have a soft spot for it.
I have 4 tattoos, I got 3 of them in the late 80's right before it got really mainstream, my boyfriend at the time was a tattoo artist. I also have nipple, genital and ear piercings. My ears were stretched a little bit, but now their back to normal size and I've taken my nipple jewelry out. My tattoos are all very "pretty", especially the flowers and birds on my chest.
I think too much for my personal tastes are too many facial piercings and facial tattoos.
I have three tats, on really big armband on my lef t bicept, I have a nose ring, had my tounge done, eyebrow, dreads with all sorts of crazy (but special) things hanging out in them, some where even different colors. I have at different times looked VERY conservative, or VERY radical. Right now i am hovering somewhere between depending on what I am wearing (I often feel like Jem from Jem and the Holigrams- great 80's cartoon which took the mullet to a whole new level, instead of work in front, party in back, Jem was work on top- blond hair, and party underneath- rock star pink hair).
My mom said all the things you have said about limiting career possibilities and living in a conservative area, and the whole warnings list. What I found is that body modification does lead some people to change thier oppinion of you, some for the better, some for the worse. And it may have limited my emplyment opps to some degree- but my mantra was that if they didn't want me because of the way I looked, then it wasn't a place I wanted to be working at. I did however always pull my dreads back as much as I could, and made sure I wore "respectable" clothing - minus any anarchy symbols I might have been sporting at the time... i was only denyed one job, ever. Ironically it was as a snowboard repair tech in a notoriously pot smoking populated place... bizarre.
I know have a great salaried job, I can do whatever I want with my hair, my tats don't matter much. I do have to lobby at our Statehouse once in a while, and am often in meetings with Law enforecment and other professionals who migh look down on my choices, but I figure giving them the cahnce to get to know me as a human with a fully functioning brain is a good chance for them to expand thier "acceptable" horizon.
When I had my dreads, I used to love traveling through the south and making sure that I lived true to myself by being as nice as I could to everyone, often, I would open doors for folks, let them cut me in line if they seemed in a rush, and other daily niceties- I felt like I was a walking "don't judge a book by it's cover" lesson. (there of course where people who wanted nothing to do with my lesson, but I don't rememeber them, I rememeber the people who were nice back to me)
We are in the World to change the World- Kathe Kollwtiz
As far as I know, people who make the choice to modify are not a protected class but recently I have heard of a couple of large employers who have sent out specific memos to their employees saying that everyone needs to be more tolerant of people's choice to wear a tattoo or have a non-traditional piercing. One of these places is the Federal Reserve. I think the other was Medtronic.
I think things have come a long way!
not a protected class. if i recall the legal reqs correctly, the thing that a protected class gets protected for must be inherent and unchangeable - race, sex, age, physical ability, etc.
"if i pass for other than what i am/do you feel safer?" ~lani ka'ahumanu
I think both tattoos and piercings can look great when done right, or awful if done wrong. I've had 10 piercings but taken half of them out because I once I got over the teenage rebellion thing, I realized they just looked stupid on me. Different things suit different people. What might be "too much" on one person could look amazing on someone else.
In an ideal world, it wouldn't matter, but people do judge you on how you present yourself. I've lost out on jobs because of my piercings, tattoos, hairstyle, etc. But, for now anyway, I'd rather express myself and look the way I want to, than work somewhere that demanded conformity.
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for someone else, because it's their body and their choice, just what, if anything, is too much for your taste.
I feel tattoos used to make a very different statement about a person than they now do, now that they're in fashion. Military and bikers, that was about it. I think they are so common now that they don't make much of a statement at all. And piercings, well, if anyone had them, I never saw them. A second hole in a female's ear used to be a big deal, or a guy getting one ear pierced. Someone wild would pierce their nose. Once. A nose piercing received stares and comments. But hey, I'm old.
Would you hire someone for any job, no matter how many tattoos or piercings they have? I guess that's a question I also have, because I worry about that for this relative. Idealistically, it shouldn't matter, but realistically, I think she's limiting herself.