Bee's picture

having what you do not have

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 08:57 -- Bee

March 1 was the big day, the culmination of years of dithering and debate. I woke up early, grabbed a cup of coffee, muttered the standard protests, and proceeded to a prestigious and historic hospital widely perceived to be one of the best in the world.

The doctor performed a perfunctory examination, looking at my palms and knuckles, measuring my head, scribbling notes on paper. Then she folded her hands together, looked mournful, and intoned the results of a DNA test performed to confirm the genetic disorder I was diagnosed with in 1983:


shadeshaman's picture

full metal yoga

It's really hard to find a yoga mat bag that is black and doesn't have a bunch of airy-fairy Enya-inspired decorations on it. So, I'm going to make one. I bought a crappy, cheapo one on the interwebs, so I can dismantle it and make a pattern. I'm also going to ask some of my yoga punx peeps to let me take a gander at their bags to see what kinds of bells and whistles are on the nicer ones. And then I'm going to make one, or two, in black canvas, and I'm going to sew nice metal/punk patches on them and maybe put some spikes on as well.

mamanopajamas's picture


1. "better" (relatively speaking) sleep

2. ability to write a poem a day so far (less than a week)

3. clean hair

4. the "deluxe" version of Bisquick sour cream coffee cake

5. BBC America

6. white tea, green tea. teas teas teas

7. ginger ale

8. the tools on the iPad which make creating easier

9. Love is all you need, mo matter how you receive it

10. trying to find a routine we can stick to easily

Bee's picture

my life fucking sucks disorder

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 01:58 -- Bee

For the last couple of decades I've been under the impression that I possess a tendency toward cyclical depression, otherwise known as Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD.

The proof of this would be a tendency toward winter hibernation, and a sort of poignant despondency around my birthday. Which, if you recall, is also the anniversary of my terminal cancer diagnosis and (forevermore) the usual and expected time for me to trudge back to the specialty clinics for more treatment and evaluation.

maggles's picture


1. That I got through the day, getting son to school w/ a lunch, working, after a rough night, exhaustion, and morning of major stomach upset.
2. That I could move patients so that I could drink mint tea and nurse stomach til noon.
3. Writing group last night and the blessed circle of women being incredible in cheering me on and saying I MUST continue the work, and supporting me by changing the night to one I don't have to pay for childcare and can come regularly!! This felt like divine intervention of the sisterhood.

mamanopajamas's picture

new "habits"

1. egg white, spinach, black bean burrito for breakfast as part of the Greens @ Breakfast Challenge

2. white tea or green tea all day long

3. green salad at lunch

4. a poem a day

5. knitting or crocheting (working up to sewing) daily

6. new creative idea I had last night

7. serious attempts to at least be in bed w/o tv & computer off by 11 pm - trying to work to 10 pm

8. continuing to get out of pjs EVERY day

9. finding Love & Home in myself


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