Speaking of F*cebook

Madame Filth's picture

i did sign up and made an id, with a made up screen name of course, to check it out. of course, after a few attempts at names, i got a warning from the site stating that they require that you use your real name. why? what the hell do they care what their users put up online? once in, i found it strange that people i know, people who work in my daughter's school, my kid's friends' parents, people i have worked for, people i went to school with, all have pages with their real names and pictures. isn't that dangerous?

this article seems to sum up why i'm disenchanted with the idea of social networking pages that reflect my own real life self. operative quote, "...she felt as if she stalked them, spending hours a day looking at their pages without actually saying hello." when i'm interested in what a person is reading or listening to, i ask them. when i don't care to speak to them, isn't how they spend their leisure time none of my business? shouldn't we actually be interacting with one another to share ideas, rather than try to typify them on a web site? (particularly when everything you post on "your" page becomes facebook's property, including pictures of yourself.)

there are all the very valid privacy concerns, but in reality i hate facebook for what it is. the aclu made a facebook quiz to illustrate one way that facebook uses your information.

anyway, since it was brought up i thought i'd share.

i hope the fad dies, because it's a truly shitty site.


yoginisinglemama's picture

I joined a few months ago and every day I regret it and intend to delete my account then remember all my friends out of state who are so slack to send me pics of their kids, that I do really enjoy getting to share with them. It was them who bothered me for over a year to join! And to exchange photos and comments with them is really a treat. It's all the people from high school and other randoms that I haven't talked to in over ten years that now know what I'm up to... But I feel there is pressure to "accept" those people b/c mutual friends can see that I am friends with this one and not that. Point: it's so strange and weird and uncomfortable. Thanks for the link you shared. I think I'll quit eventually, for now, I'm enjoying (sort of) the novelty of it all.

All this twitter facebook stuff has got to come to an end eventually. But I imagine it will all be replaced with something even more invasive?

sebsmom's picture
Submitted by sebsmom on

I was so anti-social networking sites for the longest time. I didn't want to be one of those people who got sucked in and was on them ALL the time.
I never really got mysp*ce. I still don't see how people were spending their whole life on there. But f*cebook is different - I've totally gotten sucked in. Part of that is because of the way I'm so isolated as a single mom. I'm not able to just go hang out the way a lot of people are. FB is a way to be in the loop again - to be connected with my friends & fam and even people I knew from the past. It's so much easier to log on to FB for a few minutes at a time over the course of a day and read status updates, etc. than to call or e-mail people individually. I never have the time to do that so I was left feeling like I'd lost a lot of my friends.
There are ways to be super top secret on FB. You can make it so that people can't just find you by entering your name in their search engine - you can select to only appear in search results for folks who search by your e-mail address. Or you can choose not to show up in searches at all ever- the only way for a person to be your "friend" on the site is for you to request them. Then you can further protect your profile to control which of your friends can see what.
I was put off by the whole "you have to use your real name" thing too but you can get around that. As long as you use something that actually could be a real first & last name there's really nothing they can do. It's not like they can perform a background check to see if that really is your real name.
I think where people get in trouble on f*cebook is when they are not being mindful about the information they're putting out there and making available to others. Some users on HM have made the same mistake - not being aware of steps that should be taken to protect yourself & your privacy.

sebsmom's picture
Submitted by sebsmom on

I've heard the whole thing about developers being able to get access to your private info too. And the shit about f*cebook owning anything you post. That stuff is scary. I am in no way saying FB's privacy settings should make people feel warm & cozy and safe to put anything on there. As far as the internet goes - if there is info or images, etc. that's important to you to keep private; don't put it online. Period. No privacy settings are safe enough.

Reverend Mother's picture

I think we're all in denial if we think that anything we post anywhere is ever truly anonymous. I don't use my real name, post any pictures, even give my kid's first initial, and yet I have no doubt that should anyone want to figure out who I was, or if anyone who knows who I am were to go looking for things like this, they would find me.

That's actually my answer to why I think people don't post so much. I don't want to be so guarded if I'm really looking for information and advice.

That said, I think we all suffer from delusions of grandure. Like, what are the odds that anyone really cares about any of our stuff - I don't think FB will ever have any reason to steal my pictures or my posts for their own corporate gain. I really don't think I'm going to see my Christmas pics on a box of Wheatees any time soon, KWIM?

Anyway, I like keeping up with FB because I know who my friends are and know how to be myself with them. Anonymous media, in some ways, I think is harder.

bleu7102's picture
Submitted by bleu7102 on

"That said, I think we all suffer from delusions of grandure. Like, what are the odds that anyone really cares about any of our stuff - I don't think FB will ever have any reason to steal my pictures or my posts for their own corporate gain. I really don't think I'm going to see my Christmas pics on a box of Wheatees any time soon, KWIM?"

And this is exactly why I'm not really so worried about any of it. I do see how someone needs to be careful about posting things regarding employers, etc. But that's just common sense in general. You'd be hard pressed to find something on my profile that I wouldn't readily share to anyone in real life. But honestly, I'm not really on there a ton anyways, basically just to check messages and post some random pics. I've shared much much more personal stuff here.