Self-esteem

maple mulberry's picture

My son is five months old.

This morning I went for a coffee with someone who is always immaculately turned out. I woke late and had but one hour to get me and baby ready. I rushed around like a mad thing. Dragged a comb through hair that has not had a decent cut for six(!) months. It is twice as long as I like, hopelessly out of shape and falling out in handfuls. I filled in the chips on my toenail varnish, creating a patchwork of shades visible in my sandals. I dragged on unflattering shorts that fit my larger size and a t-shirt the covers my new muffin top. I half-heartedly tried to tidy my eyebrows and moustache, somehow unsure I will ever regain that former tidy look. I had shaved my legs two days ago and it would have to do.

I had never understood mothers who look like slobs, and always promised myself I would remain careful about my appearance, no matter what. But five months in and I have only every looked (and felt) this bad in the depths of depression. How in god's name did it come to this? I love my son to bits, but I don't half hate being a slob.

Comments

motormouth's picture
Submitted by motormouth on

I always was a slob, but now with motherhood i have an excuse! If these things are important to you you'll probably find that it's easier to be on top of them when your child is a little older and not so completely dependent. Then, if you're silly like me, you'll get knocked up and have to start all over again.

mermaid_radio's picture

I had a lot of hair fall out during my pregnancy, it really made getting ready to go any place take a lot longer because I was constantly trying to keep hair out of the drain, etc. I finally would up going super-short. It is working for me for now. Hopefully the hormones will even out as it grows back. The short hair really did help me.

You'll find tricks to managing it, don't worry. And did you make it to your coffee date on time? Being late to everything was my biggest hurdle with the newborn.

punkmama's picture
Submitted by punkmama on
you know, grooming was something that i managed when my son was that little because in hindsight, i can say it was something that i COULD control. i would go into the bathroom when he went to sleep, or was with his dad for an hour, and NOT NURSING, and i would calm my frazzled brain by going through my normal routines like a meditation, kinda. concentrating on just showering, just shaving, just this, just that. came out in an hour all clean and shaved and plucked and somehow fixed...for the moment! maybe just thinking about it like that would help? LOL, or just screw it! but when you are depressed and overwhelmed, whether you have a little one or not, i am a firm believer in the power of simple self care. i hope your friend wasn't too put together for you to enjoy your coffee date though!

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”

Friedrich Nietzsche