punkmama's picture

mamas, would you consider using a licensed, in-home daycare if the provider was male, and had his own child there with him?
if so, why? if not, why not?
thanks thanks thanks.


Henry's picture
Submitted by Henry on

I would consider it. I am super picky, but I would surely consider it if I needed childcare.
why would I consider it? Well, it's hard to answer that without trying to speculate on why someone wouldn't have a man watch their kid. I guess there are men I trust and women I trust, men I don't trust and women I don't trust. But I don't think that keeping all children away from all men is really anything that makes sense. If it is about molestation, my kid is still way more likely to be molested by a family member...if it's that men don't know how to to properly care for children I don't agree with that - I think men can learn to take care of kids just like women can learn - any ineptitude I see regularly in men seems to come from lack of practice more than natural ability or lack of natural ability.

weirdmama's picture
Submitted by weirdmama on

if i met him and got a good feeling about him, and was able to speak with(and get positive feedback from) the parents of other children he had taken care of, i would never let the fact that he was a man stop me from trusting him. finding good childcare is fucking hard enough as it is-- i feel like if we crossed everyone off the list who had a dick, we could be eliminating the possibility of finding the exact right fit for our kids!

some of the places i looked at were SHA-DY. like, the kids were 'napping' on the couch while 'days of our lives' was on tv and the provider smoked cigarettes a few feet away. the second i walked into that woman's home, i looked around and said "oh, i don't think this is what i'm looking for. thankyou." and walked out. she curtly said "good luck," and kinda slammed the door. this was a liscensed provider! horrible. anyway, you'll know if the man you're thinking about using is what you're looking for. trust your gut!

dynamom's picture
Submitted by dynamom on

As long as I liked him, my kid liked him, had good references, etc.

dahlia's picture
Submitted by dahlia on

I wouldn't consider an in-home daycare for my son. Because of his behavior issues; he needs to have a licensed staff; not just one care provider; but a staff. There needs to be someone else around in case someone needs to tap out. He can be very challenging. I need to have backup if his regular teacher is sick. If I'm paying for care; I need more than one person around. I'm not paying (and working) to have to take off an average of one day out of two months (I've tracked it) when my kid isn't even the one who's sick. I'm not taking the chance of head games, power plays and passive aggressive bullshit with my kid and his emotional well being. We had a very bad in-home daycare experience, can you tell? Heh. The one we used was a married couple; and honestly he did way better with the husband. He was a lot more patient and was more intuitive to DS's needs.

I think that most kids do just fine in in home daycares; otherwise they wouldn't be around. I would consider it with a neuro-typical child. And, considering that the majority of DS's best teachers have been male; I'd be more likely to choose the one with the male provider, especially if he's a parent.

meeshel's picture
Submitted by meeshel on

because I know a lot of really awesome papas who take care of their kids all day, while they work even - and if he is licensed then that just means that he cares enough to take his like of taking care of kids even further and turn it into his full time job.

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motherfluffer's picture

with the in-home aspect than the male caretaker aspect. i hada horrible experience with the licensed in-home childcare i went to as a 3/4yo and just would never go that route with my child. unless it was a family member/trusted friend's home.

dynamom's picture
Submitted by dynamom on

If I remember correctly, last time around there were a lot of "no" responses...

Emile's picture
Submitted by Emile on

There were a lot of no's, but IIRC the question was about hiring a teenage boy as a babysitter. I'd probably say no to that but yes to the licenced dad, assuming all references etc were OK.

mamakats's picture
Submitted by mamakats on

Check him out like you would any other provider and if he is a good caregiver it will provide your kids a new perspective about roles that men and women are assigned in society. Support a man who changes diapers....that is a rare commodity in our world! And childcare doesn't pay all that much, so he is making a choice to do this, which does make a difference!

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Sonya SmithWong sagely said, "dig down deep and light a Mary candle before you go!"