The last day of my life.

elienos's picture

Five years ago today, being fed up with my pitiful fat waddle and baby-induced sciatica going down my right buttock and leg, I became determined. I had been pregnant for 41 weeks and a day, and was feeling very uncomfortable with even the discussion of inducing labor at the hospital. I decided it was time to take action. After eating pineapple for lunch, I boiled up a big pot of Raspberry Leaf tea and began to sip it. As the afternoon progressed, I started popping evening primrose oil capsules, rubbing my nipples, and massaging my hoku spot (among other things). I was beginning to feel a little peculiar. So I headed to the local Mexican place and ate the spiciest food I could get a hold of, and then took a long walk around lake Merritt. There on a bench behind Fairy Land it happened. My 9.6 pound baby's body and mine began to move in unison.

That was just the beginning.

I mused on my walk home, every time I stopped to maintain my balance during contractions, that all these people around me had no idea I was in labor. I remember looking people in the eyes thinking "Can you tell I am having a baby?" but only smiling, which may have at times looked like a grimace.

Comments

mamanopajamas's picture

phew there Mama -- I saw just he title of your post and couldn't get logged in long enough!

HUGS

ahh yes, when they begin we end ; )

 "Do not speak--unless it improves on silence." ~ buddhist saying (wow - my email on file was so old - it was from the old hipmama email!)

elienos's picture
Submitted by elienos on

:D

he he

But actually the me that ended was ready to go! I was really confused before I had a kid. Too many issues, too much damage. Being a mother to Ramona has expanded my perception and helped me understand things that I didn't have a clue about before, both about the world and myself. I like to say that the day I gave birth my heart broke...open.

I cried a lot in those first few days, just from being overwhelmed with emotion and other things that I had kept at bay for many years. She is my second true love, the first committed suicide. She inspires me to be the better, true person, if not for me, at least so that this child who I invited into my life has a better start than I did. Watching her grow up brings back memories of myself being her age, ones I repressed. Now that I see my childhood (roots) and subsequent life for what it is, I am better able to heal (nourish) and be the person I was meant to be.

mamanopajamas's picture

beautiful!

hugs Mama
xoxox

 "Do not speak--unless it improves on silence." ~ buddhist saying (wow - my email on file was so old - it was from the old hipmama email!)

rease's picture
Submitted by rease on

wow, fucking beautiful. everything you said is right now, so much yes. Yes!

and a tip? next time around, if there is one - if theres a creature of the male species around - get em to uh, put some "love potion #9" in a dixie cup. l'chaim - and 15 minutes to hard contractions. works like a charm ;) best mixed with something that uh...thins it out.