Earlier this year I declared that I would not spend another August in Cambridge, yet here I mysteriously remain!
That is a problem that will be rectified posthaste.
I'm not greedy. I simply require all of my wishes to come true. And, like the Kray twins, I always start as I mean to go on.
But wherever will I live next? Dual nationality means I can stay here, go home, or pick any destination I desire in the European Union.
One hint: it won't be a town nobody has ever heard of, somewhere in the hinterlands of Germany. I categorically refuse, regardless of consequence.
Though I've gotta go somewhere. Destinations in order of preference are:
Paris, Rome, Seattle, Portland, and Austin were contenders but have been eliminated from the competition for my favour. Though I promise to visit lots.
Tick tock, time to decide.