I don't get it = a little vent

SunshineDaydream's picture

It's been hot up here in our neck of the woods. Late yesterday afternoon some pretty big storms rolled in - hail and 60 mph winds in our neighborhood - and then quit about 7 p.m. when the sun starting peeking out.

So, I told S to put her shoes on that we were going to go out chasing rainbows and jumping in puddles.

She asked if Lucy (our dog) and daddy were coming. I said "Of course!" The dog was more than willing but my I had to twist my husbands arm! I just don't get how he would be unwilling to come outside with us for a half-hour to play. To just revel in the freshness after the storm. To see the joy on his daughters face as she skipped down the sidewalk and found every puddle on our block to jump in. Why would he want to just sit on his ass and watch the idiot box instead of spend time with S - on the days she goes to daycare we only spend 3 hours in the evening with her!

I think I just needed to get that off my chest. Phew. My husband is still not working. It is frustrating. I am sure I am hypercritical but really I just don't get it.


Ruby of the Moon's picture

My husband was sitting at the computer a few minutes after I took the training wheels off of our 5yr old's bike... I thought "what is wrong with him, it's a beauitful day and a great opportunity to teach our child something he will never forget."

Sometimes papas (& mamas) don't realize the importance of those little moments.

"If I could tell the world one thing, it would be we're all okay"-Jewell

redtulip's picture
Submitted by redtulip on

I have to force dh to do certain things with the kids. It just doesn't excite him to watch them swim or blow bubbles. He's a very loving father, but he just doesn't like to play. He's very cerebral, so I'm guessing he'll be much better with them when it comes to homework and science projects. In the meantime, I go around singing "Cat's in the Cradle" a lot.

SunshineDaydream's picture

True. True. Yes, my husband is cerebral! Prior to us going outside (while it was storming) and he S were coloring on the floor and they were talking about the pictures in her coloring book. So, it isn't like he ignores her it is just he enjoys different things with her than I do.

Your comment about the homework really made me chuckle. My husband was babysitting my best-friend's 10 yo daughter for a couple of weeks after school and when it ended my friend's daughter said "but I liked going there. He really helped me with my homework."

sunflower's picture
Submitted by sunflower on

Some days it bugs me, and some days I can take it in stride. I read a book about parenting that talks about relating to a child who is an introvert (like my DH) when you yourself are an extrovert (like me). Sometimes when given a choice of being alone or with people (even his own family)he would really rather be alone. Especially, in my DH's case, if it is a spur of the moment plan, which I relish. Me, I have a hard time taking a shower if someone else is home and awake bc I miss being with them.

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redmomma's picture
Submitted by redmomma on

Wow! This happened to me yesterday. I wanted to take the kids down to the beach and my DH just wanted to stay home. We have not done anything as a family in like a month b/c we have been so damn busy. I got upset and he finally said he would go but before that he said, "Fine, you got your way." What? I got my way? Is my way wanting you to spend time with allof us as a family at the beach? Wow, I am such a demanding bitch!

Monarda's picture
Submitted by Monarda on

is then he feels left out when DS demonstrates a preference for me. I want to say, if you don't want him to prefer me, how about you play with him a bit more?

Of course my DH plays with DS, it's just sometimes, well, the idiot box or the list of tasks get the better of him.

SunshineDaydream's picture

We just went through this phase where S would only get out of bed for me. If my husband came in she would get hysterical. Well, geez, I wonder why. I think it hurt his feelins but I get up with her 6 mornings a week!

Finally, though, I've figured out that I just need to tell her on Saturday nights that Daddy is getting up with her in the morning and making her pancakes. Ha! Last Sunday she started calling from her room "I ready. You make pancakes. Daddy."

I slept until 9 a.m.

Monarda's picture
Submitted by Monarda on

I am going to try that one out. My DH NEVER gets up with him unless I am travelling. Even on weekends. I just can't resist going to him. But I am going to try it.

dahlia's picture
Submitted by dahlia on

My DH is a total introvert too. And I'm not. And it sucks. We've kinda worked out a system of sorts, I give him time alone and he doesn't get pissy about me going out without him all the time. We still go out together sometimes, but mostly I go to things without him, even when he's previously agreed to go, most of the time he decides at the last minute he'd rather stay home.

"And a political candidate who jumps to conclusions without knowing the facts is not a person you want as your Commander-in-Chief."

-George W. Bush