I don't care today.

vkitty's picture
Thu, 07/29/2010 - 15:21 -- vkitty

I am so sleep deprived. Either my son wasn't like this when he was a baby or I'm just idealizing his babyhood. But my new, sweet baby daughter just will not sleep. And if she doesn't sleep, I don't sleep. I get a series of 1 to 2 hour naps, which is not deep sleep and not restorative.

I am grumpy, I snap at everyone, and I am so very, very moody. I love and hate everything. I'm happy and sad. I'm sleepy sleepy sleepy!

So I don't care today. I cared a little bit yesterday and the day before that. But today? I don't care that there's dirty laundry. I don't care that there's dirty dishes. I don't care that I need to write a syllabus and a couple of lesson plans for school that's starting in three weeks. I didn't get dressed until 2:30pm, and then I didn't even leave the house. And I don't care that I didn't leave the house! I am letting the baby open the tv cabinet and pull out all the video game controllers. I'm letting her tear up my book.

I care about the hungry baby and the poopy diaper. But that's all. I'm too tired to care about much else. I'm holding out hope that she'll eventually learn that sleeping through until after the sun comes up is a good thing to do. It'll happen, right?


sebsmom's picture
Submitted by sebsmom on

You have a lot on your plate mama! We all need to let ourselves not care about shit every once in a while. Hang in there!!!!!

denessasma's picture
Submitted by denessasma on

this was soo me my oldest slept for 12 hours str8 out of the hospital second kiddo never slept!!!!! she would lay in the bassinette like her and hulk hogan were goin at it no advice just love mama

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~~Dr.Seuss

Glamorous's picture
Submitted by Glamorous on

let you sleep if you bring her in with you? I don't know if you are breastfeeding, but my non-sleeper would at least hang out quietly, attached to the boob like it was a sort of back-up placenta, and let me get 4 hours or so.

I hope this helps. I hope you feel better soon.


Memory is a crazy woman that hoards colored rags and throws away food. ~Austin O'Malley

cricketsong's picture

you got dressed today?!
you fed AND changed her?!
you're giving her ample entertainment and delightful experiences with buttons and things (in the cabinet)?!

you're doing GREAT.

that's 3 amazing achievements right there.

hard to offer anything helpful without knowing what's going on with baby - is she windy? colic? hungry? refluxy? have you tried a sling? etc... - i'll leave the diagnosis to you and just offer you a hug (and if i was there i'd clean your dishes for you)

vkitty's picture
Submitted by vkitty on

I don't know what her fracking problem is :(( . I'm certain it's teething, and for her that means a runny nose, too. I'm hoping this is a phase. She only just started sleeping through the night at 8 months old, but it only lasted a month. I'm so tired!!!!

Thanks for the kudos, Cricket Mama!

"Overcome the angry by non-anger; overcome the wicked by goodness; overcome the miser by generosity; overcome the liar by truth." -Buddha

turtle's picture
Submitted by turtle on

T slept through the night at 9 months, all on her own. And then stopped at 11 months. Sigh, she still wakes up and needs getting back to sleep. I'm too tired to do anything about it! ha! Sleep deprivation makes me an insane, crazy, emotional, stabby person. It's highly unfortunate, yet I'm also incredibly lazy...

Hope it gets better for you soon, V!

Find ecstasy in life; the mere sense of living is joy enough. -- Emily Dickinson

You want to do what you think is right and what matters to you, and if other people don't like it, as my father would have said, they can go fuck themselves. -- Amy Bloom