I am incredibly stupid

sebsmom's picture

First off - hi all! I am never on hipmama anymore these days and I miss it dearly. I had to cut myself off because I was getting too addicted. I still lurk every now and then but not nearly as often as I'd like. I hate to only come back when I'm in a bind but I honestly don't know where else to turn for advice. I've gotten myself into a mess so idiotic in such an irresponsible manner that I can't bring myself to tell any of my friends or family IRL. They already think I'm the world's biggest fuck-up. I don't need to give them any more proof of that.
I'm even WAY embarrassed to bring it up here. But I need to get it out.
So in an an act of desperation I did probably the stupidest thing I've EVER done (and I've done lots of pretty stupid shit) and took out one of those internet payday loans - ya know, where they wire $300 into your account and allow them to deduct $390 on your next payday. Except... the fine print is that you need to notify them 3 business days in advance if you want to pay that full amount. Otherwise they "renew" the loan and - kindly souls that they are - only charge the $90 fee. So it's like you took out another $300 all over again and another $90 fee is assessed. So you're out $90 and you haven't paid down the loan. And then a TON of these loan companies start calling and texting you and sending e-mails: "Need more money? You're pre-approved! Just click here and get cash in as little as one hour!!" The first loan was do-able. I could afford to pay it back. But it was so easy to do and to get the money that I convinced myself that I could handle another one... and another. Then when payday came around and the fees went through I had to take out MORE loans so that I could still cover my regular expenses like rent and food and daycare, etc.
Before I even realized what I was doing the whole thing sno-balled out of control and now I can't even afford to pay the twice-a-month fees. They won't work with me on any payment plans (why would they when they have me by the balls, so to speak?) Regular debt consolidation programs can't even work with these payday lenders. There are some companies that deal exclusively in consolidating payday loans butI've heard that lots of those companies are scammers as well so I don't know who to trust or how to get out of any of this.
I can't even close my bank account because the bank says it actually takes 30 days for an account to actually close for good. If, during that time, any money is wired in or any checks or EFT withdrawals submitted then the account automatically re-opens and the closure process starts all over again. It doesn't matter if I have no funds available because then the attempted EFT withdrawals could still go through and overdraft fees assessed or the transactions get returned and I'm stuck with a $35 overdraft fee each. Since these withdrawals are set up to occur twice a month I will essentially NEVER be able to close my account and the fees will keep piling up.
Advice online says that the best course of action is to suck it up and ask for a loan from a friend or relative but that's not an option. None of my friends have ANY savings or disposable income. And my family is in dire straits right now. My grandparents just moved into an assisted living facility which has added a huge financial burden and even my mom, who's usually always been there to bail me out,is broke.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice or commiseration would be appreciated. I know that what I did was beyond foolish. I knew it at the time but I convinced myself that I had it under control. Please, no lectures about how collosally moronic it is to deal with these kind of scumbag companies. I just need non-judgmental advice really badly. Please.


denessasma's picture
Submitted by denessasma on

i could have written this myself girl. i had to close the account let it go to collections THEN they will work with u on a payment plan. it messes with ur credit BUT if u do pay it off itl b ok. there is definitely a reason these are illegal in alot of states now. the only other option is to try and get a loan from a bank or credit union to pay them all off at once but if u cant do that which i couldnt ur gonna have to just close that account u will not end up in court or any of that shit but if u dont eventually pay it will go on ur credit report. it sucks but thats bout all u can do mama.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~~Dr.Seuss

sebsmom's picture
Submitted by sebsmom on

LOL. I just noticed that Google ads on the side of this thread (at least in my view) are full of payday loan offers. At this point it is almost laughable!!
--I know HM has no control over these ads, that's part of the evil genius of them--
Also, to clarify... the loans are illegal in my state but these loans were obtained over the internet and therefore are not subject to laws in states other than the one in which they are officially established.