I've been coming to a point in my life where honesty is really paramount to me. I guess it always has been, liars have always made the top of my list of things I absolutely cannot tolerate. But now that I find myself in my 30s, and a housemama with two girls, who's health (in all ways) matters so very much to me, I find that more than anything I have to be my true self. It cannot matter how that disturbs or pleases other people, for the simple fact that I can only teach by example and I never want my kids to feel like some part of them is wrong just because other people don't get it. There is also the (more?) selfish reason that I want to attract the kind of people in my life that are cool with who I am, the way I am, rather than leading people to believe I'm something I'm not, thus creating friction between us.
In that vein I've come to accept that the truth sometimes hurts and that I can and will be hurt by it often (so if I'm asking for truth in my life I need to be prepared for this) and that I will hurt others with my truth (and that should not stop me from telling it). The pain that comes with truth shall not keep me from holding the truth up as the standard by which I live my life. That said, I don't want to be a bore or that lady that constantly talks about all her problems (though I know I probably seem like that here sometimes). I spent a LONG time isolated and alone in a foreign country without the ability to chat and make friends or share all the ups and downs of my life with real live people, face to face. Not to mention the fact that the Dutch have a very proper sense of decorum when it comes to revealing your true feelings, you just don't, it's not polite. So now, when I'm asked "how are you?" Or " How was your trip"? or some other such standard question, by people I'm aquainted with, I often reply "do you want to polite answer, or the real one"? I do this because I'm really done hiding who I am for the sake of decorum. If you ask, I'm going to tell you, if you don't want to hear it, it's up to you to say something, or not ask in the future. Now that I've been able to qualify this part of who I am I wonder, how many of you feel the same way? Am I alone in this? Because recently I'm coming up against a lot of people in my real life who just can't seem to handle the truth, no matter how benign, or even pleasant it is. They just don't want to hear it. They want a certain protocol (one I'm sadly unversed in) to be maintained and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by the anger or distance that people seem to put between us when this comes up. So tell me mamas, when it comes to truth in your life, whether it's the way you're coping (or not) or how messy your house gets, how your vacation really was (the good and the bad)or how you are feeling today, how do you reveal it, or don't you?