Friday, what does that even mean?

mamanopajamas's picture

1. for semi sleeping in & feeling semi rested

2. for not staying curled into a ball in bed

3. for not being answerable to any human being this week (other than the babysitting gig & the parent teacher conference I have been able to just rot)

4. for writing these lists - i do feel answerable to that on some level

5. for my honesty in being able to say (well, type) I feel sucky & not at all positive today

6. for my ability to fly in the face of the very heart of these lists by having the chutzpah to post just such a list

7. that i am not going anywhere and hence do not have to drug the dog today - as if it even made a dent on his behaviour - i doubt it, he never seemed overly mellow or semi sedated to me

8. that even though I am beyond broke again, and don't even know yet today if we have enough to pay all of our rent, ETA no, we do NOT, thanks to FAX not giving me the full amount of child support! FUCK! a friend has bought the Little Dude a gift for Xmas so it won't be a total bust (even though daughter informed me it was a Lego set he already had, dahm!)

9. that even when i feel like i am slipping deep down into the muck i do still know i am of value

10. and that even alone here in the muck, in the busy-ness of other priorities and the chaos which nags at this house, i do know somewhere i am loved