I've been letting my mind wander as I do housework today, and it keeps going back to the list of so-called mom duties that are expected of me, including guilt over not having a family for my son to share Thanksgiving with, as well as guilt that I haven't had as much time to spend with him lately, all kinds of guilt.
I realized that I do this to myself ALL OF THE TIME. It's a habitual pattern of thoughts that always lead back to feelings of guilt or inadequacy, no matter how much I accomplish, or how much I reason against it, the feeling is still there.
I decided to try something new. I'm going to recognize each time that my emotions shift to guilt or feeling inadequate, I'm going to take note, and I'm going to tell myself that's not how I want to treat myself anymore.
I'm pretty sure my Jedi mind skills are up to the challenge. They've been through a lot.
This is my gift to myself this Thanksgiving.
Much love mamas.
Occupy Your Mind!
I'm also doing myself a favor and unplugging from social networking media (besides HipMama) through the holidays so that I don't have to look at photos of holiday related cheer. I've been WAY TOO PLUGGED IN lately, it started with the Occupy stuff (which I've been avidly following if not posting on this forum about) and then it turned into a way for me to zone away from myself and my emotions during the holidays, and stay up way too late compulsively clicking. I'm giving myself the gift of unplugging as well.
Wish me luck!
P.S. In case you are feeling badly for my son after reading this, please note he'll be with his father this Thanksgiving. I basically don't have to celebrate the holiday unless I want to. Which COULD make me feel sad or bad, etc. but it could also be a chance to have a really nice couple of days where I can work on being kind to myself in my head rather than letting the holiday stuff get me down.