My boy is a really wonderful sweet child. But he is stubborn. He's in the phase where he is very defiant, which I know is very popular behavior at this age (he turned 3 march 21st). I'm finding he just is not very persistent. We are seeing an occupation therapist for some sensory and fine motor issues. Like, he wont open a door with a door knob. It's too hard and he gives up right away. Sometimes he jiggles the knob but doesn't try to actually turn it. And with things like putting his shoes on, he'll try, and give up right away and ask for help.
So those are all small things. The big thing is with his leg. He fell down 2/3 stairs over 6 weeks ago and got a small stress fracture on his right tibia. He hasn't walked since even though the orthopedic pediatrician I saw said he was healed. He refuses to even try to stand. He crawls around and walks on his knees. I'm facing all this pressure from friends and family that it is my sole responsibility to make sure he's up and walking again. They are using scare tactics on me saying his leg muscle will degenerate and I'll be in even more shit if I don't get him walking right away (even though the doctors and specialists said nothing like this to me). I'm being pressured to give him "tough love" and "force" him to walk. I'm not even going to delve into how all this makes me feel as though my top layer of mom skin has been ripped off. This advice, primarily from childless people mind you. And notice how they say I have to do this. As if the child has no will of his own. It's as if by me wanting him to do something bad enough, he's just going to do it. He is a very young impressionable child, very mailable, but still has a will of his own.
This goes against all my maternal instincts. I can be strict with him and often am. But when he's been crying hysterically for 20 minutes screaming for me to pick him up, I hardly think any amount of waiting and watching his up-reached arms is going to have him walking. This method might very well work for other children with different temperaments. I'm his mom and I don't think it's the route for him. I think he's more likely to walk when he's in good spirits, not in desperation for help. I fear a small piece of him dies inside when he feels like his mom has abandoned him like that when he's screaming for help. I don't know, I'm probably being dramatic.
So I guess this kind of makes me naive and a little negligent. But I think this whole walking again is going to be a very slow process. I think it'll be much like the first time he learned to walk, first standing, then maybe walking along furniture, then maybe a few unassisted steps. I think it's very unreasonable for people to expect him to just be running again one day after not walking at all. I think harassing him and degrading him will only make him regress.
And I feel like I need someone to back me up.
I could use tips for positive encouragement. I've tried taking away toys or offering treats, and it's all felt cheap and wrong to me and didn't even work anyways.