Do you clean your kids rooms?

Ruby of the Moon's picture

My daughters (9yrs) room is such a mess. It's so bad that she couldn't even find a pair of shoes to wear to school, so she missed the bus this morning.
So here is my question??

Do you clean your kids rooms?

I've gone in there and spent an entire Sunday cleaning and organizing it more than once, then implimedted "rules" that she has to have a clean room in order to do basically anything. Well.. it doesn't work, it gets messy and then I'm not going to have her miss an activity that I have already PAID for, and when her dad gets involved and tells her to clean she just sits there and cries and cries and says, "I am cleaning it" while she lays on top of a pile of clothes.
I admit that my side of the room is not the cleanest in the world, but I am trying hard to keep the house in order and myself sane. A woman I know has three kids, 15, 11 and 8 she still cleans there rooms for them!?! I thought, wow either they are really lucky or I am evil, because my kids have chores as well as the suposed responsibility to keep there rooms clean... So I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice?
Should I just take everything out of her room except the bed or should I just cave in and clean it all the time? Should I just make her stay in there until it's clean which would seriously be forever.....


nomad's picture
Submitted by nomad on

My son is 9 too, and I haven't cleaned his room for years. That's his job.
The thing is, if I just said: "Go clean your room" he would just sit in there and cry like your girl. Doing it all at once overwhelms him. So, what I say is: "Go put away all the books and come tell me when you're finished" Then when he does that, I tell him something else, like pick up all the clothes. We just go step by step like that and he does fine. If you do this just once a week so it doesn't build up it goes pretty fast and no crying.

Also, once in a while I get rid of about half his toys. He doesn't use them anyway, and he spends more time in his room playing with what he does have when it isn't all cluttered up. Just yesterday, I had him sort through his books. I started 4 piles on the floor for him- one to keep, one to give to his little brother, one to give away, one to throw away. When he finished, he had only decided to keep abour half of his books. That will free up space and keep him from getting overwhelmed when he goes to pick out something to read.

Good luck!

denessasma's picture
Submitted by denessasma on

denessa is 2 and she helps me clean her room , so i guess no if she was 9 i wouldn't. This is what i would do. plan an afternoon when you can do it together, so you can kind of show her. I always had a horribly messy room growing up mostly just clothes EVERYWHERE. my parents would make my sister do it after so long Ha ha to her!!! but seriously i would do it together and then every night before bed it has to be picked up or her activities will get cancelled. the first time she can't do something she really wants to do she will get the message.

There's someone in my head, but it's not me........Pink Floyd

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~~Dr.Seuss

mamasusie's picture
Submitted by mamasusie on

I'm with Nomad. Jimmy is 11, and it's his job to keep his room clean, but every couple months I do go in and do a big sort and throw. Good for charity, and good for him as he gets overwhelmed. And I swear, things just breed in kid's rooms.

I have a list of chores he has to do to keep on top of it - he has to make his bed and sort out his gazillion cards every day, plus put his clothes away (I wash). Once a week I do his bedding, also. Legos have to be put away every night, or mean mom gives them to charity. Sometimes threats are the only thing that works for us!

"Step off my big ass."

- Anthromom

IGGY's picture
Submitted by IGGY on

that is to say, i jump up and down and insist that she do it herself, then after about a week i do it. i do all the things you do. i remove her toys, i have her lose her privileges, nothing works. i think it just is one of those things they have to learn gradually. i still haven't learned it, so that's the example i'm setting in real life.

one thing i did, to try to teach us both to do our chores, is allow my daughter (7) to do some of mine in exchange for me doing hers, so we don't get as bored. she can wash dishes, for example, if i fold her clothes.

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be." ~~ Kurt Vonnegut

"You know, i could write a book. And this book would be thick enough, to stun an ox." -- Laurie Anderson

sylvia_p's picture
Submitted by sylvia_p on

when it comes to picking up her stuff, she is almost 5 and has a little sister on the way and i refuse to be a maid as well as her mother. my MIL used to clean DH's room for him when we were dating....6 years ago!(he was 22). i do find myself getting frustrated with DD and just going in there myself and cleaning it which takes an entire day. i think breaking it down into items or 15 minute periods of time helps with the overwhelming chore of all of the crap that was pulled out of the toybox strewn across the floor.

Ruby of the Moon's picture

My son is almost 11 and when he is cleaning his room, that's exactly what I do. I have him pick up his clothes, then give him another task, simple instructions work good for him, and he shares his room with his little brother, and amazingly their room is usually clean. But my dd is different... she cries even at the first instruction!

"If I could tell the world one thing, it would be we're all okay"-Jewell

Ruby of the Moon's picture

So here is my question: how much threats do you have to give? And do you really give away the toys, how many chances do you give? My DS is almost 11 and although his room is usually clean, his stuff ends up all over the house. I go into his room about once a month and do a big sort and throw too, I swear my two older kids never play with their toys, never have.
Why do I have this picture in my head of everyone else's kids neatly hanging up their coats and placing their shoes neatly in their closet while mine toss everything everywhere when they come into the house after school... like a hurricane.

"If I could tell the world one thing, it would be we're all okay"-Jewell

Ruby of the Moon's picture

I agree swapping chores is a great idea! Sometimes my daughter will do the dishes, (my abosolute least favorite thing in the world) and I will clean up her room.

"If I could tell the world one thing, it would be we're all okay"-Jewell

Ruby of the Moon's picture

My younger daughter is 2 and she is a better helper when it comes to cleaning than my 9yr old... I'm not kidding! When they are little they will do anything to please you, and putting away toys is fun. For some reason now with my DD being 9 it is more of a mind-game, she really fake cries most of the time, because she knows it drives me crazy. She also doesn't like anything that I pick out for her to wear anymore, she would rather go to school naked then wear a perfectly nice outfit I choose. I remember the days when we sang the "clean-up" song from Barney and she was so eager to help me.... what happened?
I like your daughters name, my 9yr olds middle name is Yanessa (pronounced janessa)