I have finally realized how stressed out I really am. My entire life I have been "in-charge." When I was a little girl I babysat my baby sister all the time when my mom moved out.
Then I was always the teenager that got high - but not too high so I could watch my friends and make sure they didn't do anything stupid.
Then I got pregg-o when I was 16.. I did everything right, quit smoking, hanging around with my partying friends. And since then I have been a responsible mama...
I now see that I am a seriously paranoid parent - I mean seriously. I never ever relax, I am only 28 and I feel like an uptight senoir.
I clean constantly - and my house is always a mess... I keep telling myself, I have four kids. That's why....but isn't that just a lame excuse? (anyone else with four kids have a super-clean house??? If you do, then how?)
Plus I am a college student, I had a 4.0 average, but I feel it slowly slipping away.
I am a doula, a part-time WIC employee/breastfeeding counselor which I wish I could devote more time too... but what is time??
My dh is working full-time, and he gets home and rests... rests and rests. Sometimes it doesn't bug me.. other times I feel like walking out the door on him. He used to help alot more, plus he used to be the laid back one now he is a grouch all the time and yelling at the kids etc., You know how easy it is to pick up on those bad vibes...
Anyway I am attempting to de-stress my life. Get rid of clutter and eat healthier, I hate yelling at the kids I hate feeling overwhelmed and worrying about everyone else's problems. I hate being anxiety-ridden and feeling like I have to say yes when I just want to say no. I want to be a calm-mama, and a relaxed mama, the kind that just lets loose. Any ideas?