De-Stressing Myself (part 1)

Ruby of the Moon's picture

I have finally realized how stressed out I really am. My entire life I have been "in-charge." When I was a little girl I babysat my baby sister all the time when my mom moved out.

Then I was always the teenager that got high - but not too high so I could watch my friends and make sure they didn't do anything stupid.

Then I got pregg-o when I was 16.. I did everything right, quit smoking, hanging around with my partying friends. And since then I have been a responsible mama...

I now see that I am a seriously paranoid parent - I mean seriously. I never ever relax, I am only 28 and I feel like an uptight senoir.

I clean constantly - and my house is always a mess... I keep telling myself, I have four kids. That's why....but isn't that just a lame excuse? (anyone else with four kids have a super-clean house??? If you do, then how?)

Plus I am a college student, I had a 4.0 average, but I feel it slowly slipping away.

I am a doula, a part-time WIC employee/breastfeeding counselor which I wish I could devote more time too... but what is time??

My dh is working full-time, and he gets home and rests... rests and rests. Sometimes it doesn't bug me.. other times I feel like walking out the door on him. He used to help alot more, plus he used to be the laid back one now he is a grouch all the time and yelling at the kids etc., You know how easy it is to pick up on those bad vibes...

Anyway I am attempting to de-stress my life. Get rid of clutter and eat healthier, I hate yelling at the kids I hate feeling overwhelmed and worrying about everyone else's problems. I hate being anxiety-ridden and feeling like I have to say yes when I just want to say no. I want to be a calm-mama, and a relaxed mama, the kind that just lets loose. Any ideas?


bitch-face's picture
Submitted by bitch-face on

is like shoveling the walk while it is still snowing -phyllis diller (I think)
Take baths (nice smelly ones). Find time at least once every week to do something nice for yourself by yourself. Read lots of books (cheap vacation). Tell your self over and over (this works for me) "the world well not end if..."
I don't scrub the bathtub this week (or even this month)
I let some dishes pile up
I don't get to the laundry
That has always helped me destress and I'm a little stress ball. good luck :)!
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
-Dale Carnegie

sweetdumpling's picture

you sound like you've done everything right and made fabulaus choices - give yourself a standing "o" for that! The fact that you've got 4 children and a whole lot of other things on the go it amazing. You might have to realize that your house might not be super clean. Thats not a bad thing. it just "lived in" - which you do. You need to take time for you.

enjoy your life, and your family! its worth it.


old_school_kitty's picture

Come on girl, you got 4?
Caretaking and control issues are probably something a lot of mamas here can relate to. Good to open it up and put it out there. I will say that keeping a clean house can be a way of keeping calm too so it's not such a bad thing. I guess it just depends HOW anal or clean it needs to be?



lunarmama's picture
Submitted by lunarmama on

Holy cow can I relate. I only have one (almost 4months old) but wow I feel pretty much the same. No good advice really other than to keep doing what you are doing and take the other mama's advice, especially about relating your needs ang getting them met. I tend to be pretty passive agressive and I'm really trying to be just like "here is what I need" and not backing down when it comes to getting that need met, whether it's by DH or by me or someone else. Not an easy thing to do, especially when DH tends to be very sensitive and I tend to get too harsh. But we're working on it.

good luck!

“To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.�