damned if you try not to do

shadeshaman's picture

I'm phasing out my microwave. No, not the one I use when I'm sitting on a float and wearing a tiara during a parade--as I do so very, very often these days--and I don't want to wear out my arm. The appliance, in the kitchen. How did I even end up with one? I can't remember. I didn't have one when my kids were little. I couldn't afford to buy one. But then, somewhere along the line, I think I lived in a house where there was one installed over the stove, and I got used to using it, and I figured out how to score a free one off CL or free-cycle or whatnot. They are handy for single moms. When I'm at work and the kid is hungry, she can't seem to figure out how to cook anything. Really. The older kid can make an amazing caramel pudding with sea salt *from scratch* but the younger one can't even fry an egg. So, She uses the microwave, and I sometimes use it when I'm too fucking tired to cook. I know, I know, I've always known, that they are badbadbadbadbad. I read some new article with the same old information about how bad microwaves are, and I thought, "well, can I work around this? Can I find a way not to use it?", so I am. Nachos in the toaster oven--that's going to require a little finessing. And I will have to get a different kitchen timer. And I will have to remember how to defrost stuff without the microwave. The thing I will miss the most is using it to cook potatoes, for mashing. But, I got an Am*zon gift card and bought an electric kettle, so I can boil water faster (and using less energy, I hope) than putting a pot on the stove. So, maybe that will ease the transition.
But what about sitting in front of a computer? That can't be good for me. Driving on he highway with ten thousand other cars? That can't be great, either. Pink/red/purple hair? Not awesome. How about my vacuum, which I use for at least an hour or more a day? Hmmm....
Fuck it. I'm gonna go watch TV.


Bee's picture
Submitted by Bee on

My apartment has a microwave built into the kitchen - really wedged in the cupboards so I can't pull it out and put it on the curb - and it makes me very unhappy. Like, flashes of rage when I look at it. I don't know why I have such a strong anti-microwave ethic, it is just true. Friends from back home are amazed that there is one here because apparently I was always a brutal sort of housemate who banished evil appliances. They say there was a point early in our acquaintance when I sternly ordered it out, so Byron moved his microwave to the basement. He would go down into the gloom to use it. For what? It isn't like he eats microwave popcorn. Dude doesn't cook, not even to reheat pizza. Must have been symbolic.

I would have to renovate the kitchen to get rid of the thing nowadays, which isn't going to happen in this lifetime. But my son takes the position that I should not even think about getting rid of it. He loves it. Again, I do not know why, as he never cooks anything. He doesn't even make toast! But he has some kind of sentimental attachment to the notion of the microwave. It represents.... uh.... convenience? Dunno.