Callin it quits!

piratemama's picture

So this is my first little bloggy thing on here. My lovely friend Julie introduced me to this site. I am on myspace but don't really do the blog thing and especially not about anything very personal. I'm going to try my hand at being a little more vulnerable on this site however because it feels a bit more comfortable and....well, because I need to.

I'm a mother of two with a husband who is super sometimes but some of the time lately I am on the verge of taking off to mexico...without him. As with many other mommies, I get close to no help with the housework, bills, blah, blah, blah. And whose fault is it? Mine. Why? Because I choose to sit in it. Yes, I am aware of my codependent patterns and cycles. I've been saying,"at least i can see it now" for quite a while. I don't think that's good enough anymore. It just gets to the point where I feel like I might as well be single and I definitely enjoy being single. So why stay? Because it's also my pattern to not deal with shit, blame everyone else for shit, use inappropriate methods of trying to get my needs met and getting mad because no one can meet them, and finally taking off and ditching people. I made a committment and I'm trying to stick to it.

I'm just trying to take accountability for my actions and to try not to live his fucking life for him and I'm allowing him to be fucked up without if fucking me up (trying is the operative word here). His mood swings still affect me and his aggression and temper still affect me but not like before. He appreciates that I'm not being his mother and it pisses him off at the same time because i'm not wiping his ass. So what. I'm doing what i have to do for myself and that's all I have to do anymore. Phew! I feel better already! :)

Comments

lunarmama's picture
Submitted by lunarmama on

I think there is a "mama's wanting to run off to mexico" epidemic going on at the moment. Welcome to the club, and welcome to the blog! Also, good on you for knwoing where you stand even if you're not sure where you're headed.

p.s. love your username! I *heart* pirates!

“To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.�

Ruby of the Moon's picture

Hehe... Sounds like mine, their is something going on lately, men are helping less and less. Is he a diabetic? Those mood swings sound farmiliar to me. Welcome to hipmama!! You'll love it.

"If I could tell the world one thing, it would be we're all okay"-Jewell

jubas's picture
Submitted by jubas on

Piratemomma rocks!!!!! I love you momma and we can run off to Brazil together, hotter men, and women!!!!

"I don’t have to keep up some great pretention I’m the most dignified, eloquent, elegant, perfect, smart-thinking, kind, generous person. I’m just a plain old human with a whole bunch of flaws.”-- Lily Tomlin

IGGY's picture
Submitted by IGGY on

it sucks. i feel you about the ass wiping part, my dh is the same way, and he doesn't see it. he insists he doesn't want me to manage his life, yet phone calls and cleaning and all that, simply do not get done unless i tell him what to do, when to do it , how to do it, and expend more energy than if i just did it for him. it's like that phase of toddlerhood, where you're teaching your kid to be independent but it takes more time and energy than just doing it for them, but you know taht the payoff is more independence later on. only with a grown ass man that later on never comes.

now you got me mad at my mister. grr.
"All you need is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure." --Mark Twain

"You know, i could write a book. And this book would be thick enough, to stun an ox." -- Laurie Anderson

piratemama's picture
Submitted by piratemama on

sorry to get you started...but thanks for listening and thanks for your reply. It is EXACTLY like that stage in toddlerhood and you're right....that later doesn't appear to be anywhere on the horizon! well, I hope you have a great day anyway :)

Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent....Eleanor Roosevelt

piratemama's picture
Submitted by piratemama on

love you too sweetleaf! Thanks for introducing me! Hey, next sunday is the sex toy party at 1:00. Also, next Friday me and Das' mom and sister and taking lucky and his cousin to enchanted forest if your interested. I'm not taking EZ so I can ride the rides...you're welcome to join us xoxo

Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent....Eleanor Roosevelt

piratemama's picture
Submitted by piratemama on

He hasn't been diagnosed with diabetes although I guess it might make sense the way he binges on food in the middle of the night.

Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent....Eleanor Roosevelt

jubas's picture
Submitted by jubas on

pooop I have class..... maybe another time....

"I don’t have to keep up some great pretention I’m the most dignified, eloquent, elegant, perfect, smart-thinking, kind, generous person. I’m just a plain old human with a whole bunch of flaws.”-- Lily Tomlin