5 months from now

shadeshaman's picture

When I wake up in the morning, I won't immediately go to work as soon as, or possibly even before, my feet hit the ground. I won't walk into a kitchen filled with dirty dishes because *someone* forgot to unload the dishwasher, and the dish drainer, consequently leaving no room for me load dirty dishes into the dishwasher or clean dishes into the dish drainer. I won't have to remind anyone to do any chores. I won't have to listen to another muthafuckin' Beyonce song. Ever. Food that I buy and work to prepare will not go uneaten. There will be NO McDildo's containers in my fridge.
There will not be piles of clothing, shoes, socks, gum wrappers, cartoon drawings, make-up, hair accessories, sunglasses, crumpled up homework sheets or other random bits of crud on every surface, wedged in every crevice, precariously balanced or already toppled in the middle of a doorway, a hallway, in a closet, blocking a door from opening or closing, or in the middle of the one seat in the house that I claim as my own.
No one will use my towel, the one that says "MOM" on the tag. Ever.
The smell of sweat socks will no longer waft through every room.
I will not be ordered to "Look! Look! Look!" every 5 seconds, while I'm trying to clean up the crud, wash the dishes, or prepare the food. I will not have to tell my kid that her cat, the one I don't like and don't actually want to keep, is "Cute", because she won't be around to force me to agree with her.
No one will roll their eyes at me.
The only time I will hear that awful hair-ball clearing sound, it will be coming from an actual cat, actually clearing a hair ball.
I won't be judged or made fun of by someone whom I am legally obligated to provide for, but not allowed to dispose of.
I will not have to stroke the ego of anyone who has awakened me from much-needed sleep at 3 in the morning, to tell me that they picked a fight with their lover, who unsurprisingly dumped them.
My bathroom will be clean.
I won't have to buy 15 eyeliners, because no-one will steal and then lose mine.
I will come home from work, and I won't have to go directly into my second, unpaid job.
I will get to....god, what is that word?....rest.
No one will get mad at me for trying to help them.
My desk will be neat.
My desk will stay neat.
I won't have to curtail every fucking activity because of being on call, all day, every day, as I have been for the past 20 years.
I will have a social life.
I will have a vacation.
I will have sex!