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Another from my son, Milan

Milan is in first grade in the Millville School. His school is across
the street from the prestigious Ivy League prep school, Saint
Paul’s in West Concord. Millville is an interesting red-brick
building that served as a schoolhouse for the children of workers
in a local mill that is now nonexistent. Milan greatly admires his
teacher, Phil, and is an avid reader and an enthusiastic student.
One day in late winter, my pager goes off, and I am instructed
to call Milan’s school. My heart is always in my throat when this
happens; being a mother, I always fear the worst. His teacher,

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Excerpt from Lady's Hands, Lion's Heart, A Midwife's Saga ~ #29

(Another "Penis story"...sorry. I'm on a roll!)

The Dead Worm

There is a town south of Concord that is a very depressed and
seedy area, and unfortunately, it has more than the average
number per capita of uneducated, mouthy, abusive men. We
suffer more than our fair share of these guys in our practice,
mostly because we are the most affordable show around,
although we make sure that cost is not the exclusive reason for
seeking a home birth.
Due to geography, I am working with the midwife, Roberta,
with this couple. Roberta can barely tolerate the implied

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Denessasma "Penis story" reminded me of this at Bad Beaver...

When Tom Fries Bacon Naked

I smell coffee brewing and bacon frying, so I jump out of bed and run down the stairs. I grin to see Tom standing naked in front of the funky old white porcelain electric cook stove that came with the camp. He is frying bacon. He has such a great ass. It is high and round and solid. I can’t resist. I lean over to kiss his butt. When I do this, his penis makes contact with the metal strip that rims the top of the stove. We didn’t know at the time, that the stove has a serious electrical short.

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Newspaper interview of my son, Milan, in 1982~

Milan is growing up. He is thoughtful and funny and is the
apple of his second-grade teacher’s eye. Sometimes his teacher
“borrows” Milan for an afternoon when I am away at births, just
to spend time with him. When Milan is seven, he is interviewed
for our local paper, the Concord Monitor, as the kid who should
be in the Guinness Book of World Records for seeing the most
births. I am not present for the interview, which I later learn
goes in part as follows:

Reporter: Have you ever pulled a baby out?
Milan: Me? No. I used to hold the flashlight. Now I wash the kits.

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Why I chose HipMama...

Hey Mamas, since I've been asked, I'll tell. I wanted to post excerpts from my book to get my title floating around out there in infinite Cyberspace. I looked at all the parenting "zines" where you can post and I ended up choosing HipMama. I ended up here because the women on this site are the most intelligent, sassy, funny (VERY funny), naughty, articulate, brave, independent, kind...and so FUCKED UP!

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Excerpt from Lady's Hands, Lion's Heart, A Midwife's Saga ~ #28

A Prolapsed Cord

There are occasional moments at births when I know for certain
that I have been blessed and guided by divine intervention.
This is the case in little Sissy’s birth, an instance of an unrelated
maneuver causing a red flag that alerted me to a completely
different complication.
Sissy’s mother, Delores, is a close friend of mine. She is in
my women’s group that meets on a monthly basis. When she
is thirty-one weeks pregnant, Delores calls to tell me that she
has just broken her water. I have attended her twice before with

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Excerpt from Lady's Hands, Lion's Heart, A Midwife's Saga ~ #27

The “Miracle Birth”

The apprentice, Raven, has completed her midwifery training
and has moved to Montpelier, Vermont, with the intention of
setting up a practice. I miss her greatly, and occasionally, there
is a client who is geographically suited for the two of us to work
together again. I enjoy this immensely.
326 Carol Leonard
This is one of the last births we are able to do together. Raven
calls it the “miracle birth” and uses it as a shining example when
talking about the role that intuition plays in everyday midwifery

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Excerpt from Lady's Hands, Lion's Heart, A Midwife's Saga ~ #26

Mrs. McTavish’s Normal Birth

As I have said, a vast majority of births are straightforward and
uneventful, although all births are remarkable and a mystery.
Some births just remain in sharper focus, due in large part to
the memorable women themselves, their personalities, their
foibles, and their strengths.
One such woman is Lenore McTavish. I believe I recall her
story so fondly because she is a transplanted Brooklyn rendition
of Bette Midler; in short, she is a wonderful nut. Lenore McTavish
contacts me to assist her with her second pregnancy, as her first

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Excerpt from Lady's Hands, Lion's Heart, A Midwife's Saga ~ #25

The great thing about schlepping Milan to births in the middle
of the night is that this causes him to develop a very flexible
and adaptable personality. One night he might wake to find
himself in the midst of a Harley-Davidson motorcycle gang’s
birth with bearded, bandanna’d, beer-guzzling bikers sobbing
unabashedly at the beauty of it all, and the next night he might
wake to Fundamentalist Christians solemnly reading scriptures
through the entire affair. It certainly is educational.
The first time Milan hears some deeply religious folks talking


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