maggles's blog

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single mom sick of not being appreciated

A little rant here, so as to help myself calm down. So I get home from a 9 hour day seeing psychotherapy patients. REwarding- yes, easy- NO. I am trying to work my ass off for anumber of reasons- mainly so my son and I can have a great summer. Come in w/ his favorite Chinese rice dish- he'd eaten and not hungry- fair e nough. But no "Thanks for buying htat for me mommy." No hug. Didn't even look up from sitter's iphone.

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30th HS reunion

Just bought this dress for it, and I feel I rock it! Happy to be alive 30 years after H.S. Leading a brief remembrance for those who've passed. I plan to flirt w/ the now divorced contingency and revel in not being tied down to most of the husbands in the room! And mostly reconnect w/ some wonderful women from my past- who I've missed. Hope all is well with you women...

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rocked the audit

Spent 5 hours w/ the Tax Man for the random research audit today. He said I was extremely organized and that everything checked out well, overall. I have to say, i feel really proud of myself. On top of running a business, supporting us, and all the single mama challenges, I'm also running a tight ship. Of course wishing I hadn't won this "lotto" and wishing big corps would get it rather then me, spending two spend weeks prepping and and not sleeping and cancelling clients. But I have to say the auditor was nice and not aggressive or on some power trip.

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man with fire

I am appreciating fully that I need a man with fire. Date last night with perfectly cool guy. Yes COOL in a few senses of the word. Good looking, professional, good hearted, responsible dad. No fire. If they don't have fire I'll burn em to a crisp. So they gotta have fire. Just putting that out to the Uni.

xo

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Sat night blues-

It's hailing. I'm so tired- finally getting a break. Spent much of past 24 hours helping a new suicidal teen. Amazing person and it had my name on it. Loving my beautiful son a ton and appreciating him endlessly- worrying about him and his complex two home life- and it is so damn tiring. I'm really ready to have a real life companion but I'm not ready to spend my little restorative moments In work of dating. My back hurts, my stomach hurts. I need rest , quiet, yoga, writing. Intimate time with a true partner would be wonderful but I'd rather go to the car wash then on a date.

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grats

1. That I got through the day, getting son to school w/ a lunch, working, after a rough night, exhaustion, and morning of major stomach upset.
2. That I could move patients so that I could drink mint tea and nurse stomach til noon.
3. Writing group last night and the blessed circle of women being incredible in cheering me on and saying I MUST continue the work, and supporting me by changing the night to one I don't have to pay for childcare and can come regularly!! This felt like divine intervention of the sisterhood.

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George Clooney

I dreamt last night that we were going out. He had broken up w/ Jenifer Aniston because he wanted someone more substantial. It was all very natch. We were in a wine bar and it was like "pass the Cab, George." He was deep and interesting in the dream, and very respectful of me (i'd just been thinking in real life- he stands up for good stuff, has done some deeper work as an actor, too bad he seems so superficial about women). I take this as a good sign.

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parenting w/ love not shame

Wow- w hen you kid pushes back or is not sleeping (which means you are not sleeping), and you are a single mom and the main wage earner without much financial or emotional back up..how to parent with overall

-compassion and love rather than shaming
-boundaries and expectations rather than confusion or indulgence (a kind of neglect)
-perspective and bringing some humor- rather than taking it all too seriously and
becoming overly dramatic yourself
-dreams and goals for yourself AND your child, rather than "the course of least resistance"

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