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I'm about to hit the gym right quick before I go to work. I'm doing 30 minutes on the elliptical, then a day of teaching. I'm at work 6.5 hours and at least half the time I'm on my feet walking around, helping the kids, teaching, managing the class, so I definitely count those 3 hours as exercise LOL! So what's been up with ya'll, what doing?

What kind of life do you want to have? What are you doing to create the kind of life you want? Do you feel you can control your own life? Do you feel you can control what you do/eat/think/feel/say? Can you choose happiness? Is your own happiness a priority with you?

just some questions I've been mulling over...would love to hear your thoughts.

I have so much to be grateful for, where do I start? Ok with the bestest:

-Mercury Man is so...I am so in love with him. I feel like we are discovering each other all over again, renewing our intensity for each other again. He is the one person I can talk to about anything, the person I turn to for main support, the person I have the most fun with. I love him for like he was as the young man I met 16 years ago, I love him for the grown man he is today. He is zany and funny and easy to be with most of the time. and when he is hard to be with it is still soooooo worth it. I can rest with him. I am at home with him. I like being with him. I love him.

-My grown folk sons! Man they are so big and old! Every day I am startled by my sons, sometimes when I am upstairs and hear them talking downstairs I'm like, who are these men in my house?? Nobody but my half grown deep voiced sons LOL! They are so helpful and even when I have to put them hammer down on them, they pull out the 'act-right' and get it together. Like yesterday I was hassling them about their nasty bedrooms, and they got right into cleaning them up and got their rooms all situated out. I am so proud of them!! and they get themselves up and ready every morning for school, make their own lunches now and everything. I'm just there, reminding them to eat breakfast and feeling superfluous LOL!

-My health, physical and mental. after the nasty miscarriage last year and the mental breakdown, it feels so good to be healthy and sound both in body and mind! believe it, your health is your true wealth!

-Ok so school is amping up! Every time I turn around there is an assignment or a paper or a test due, got-damn! excuse my language! I aim for a non-cursing life, but sometimes I'm like, damn! tomorrow I have a paper due again for my Wednesday night class, boo hiss. But I am a fast writer thanks to my tenure at University of Phoenix, where I finished my initial degree. That school, we had a paper due every single week plus a test or quiz every other week, it was intense. It's not really the papers though that's aggravating me, it's the 'class participation' aspect. Everybody's always looking at me and waiting for what I'm gonna say, even the teachers. I'm like, WTF? there are other people in these classes, make them run their mouths ha ha! I have learned the art of deflecting in conversation though, thank the lord. when the teachers are like, what do you think trula? I'm like blah blah blah, I'm curious as to what carol thinks, carol? or whoever and I toss that question back into the class! like a politician heeeee!

-Landlord of my storefront called me, there is a big box type company that wants the space and is willing to pay the 2 year lease in full upfront! I can't beat that as I am paying month-to month, and right now just paying partial rent until we open. I told her I totally understand if she wants to rent to them instead, she said she will let me know what's up and refund what I've paid. Kinda a hassle to move everything again but WTH, good thing about northeast ohio is there are tons of cheap empty storefronts available. I will find something near me soon!

-Subbing is going great, I was at my favorite school yesterday. The kids were a little salty with me that I haven't been around much, they know I am in school and so can't sub as much but still, they missed me. Nice to know they've been thinking about me! The teacher I subbed for yesterday is a class-to-class math interventionist and so I had all grades even the wee little ones, which went ok. Nobody cried or had a pee accident or wiped their slimy hands on me for once. But it was nice to see the big kids at the end of the day!

-Playing on my clarinet! my lungs are kinda weak now that I'm an old bag LOL! I can't believe I used to march and play and perform in concerts as a kid! I think I need to get my lung stamina back. It's so fun though! and I get to do duets with Todd, who plays the saxophone!

Miss phoenix posted about the scrap bag she made recently and it inspired me to make one! I made a pillow scrap sack. It was very quick and easy to make, I just used an old large pillow case and sewed in a long zipper from an old dress I'd recently cut up to make something else. I'd been needing more scrap storage but kept putting off making a scrap bag, and here it took me less than 10 minutes to make. voila!

Dynamom posted about a gift bag she made recently and it inspired me to make one! I made it out of a cereal box and covered it in newspaper. Punched holes in the sides and strung scrap thick ribbon through. Another thing that took me less than 10 minutes! I used it for one of Mercury Man's Valentine's Day presents:

an update about what I've been up to:

School: so I started in January at Cleveland State University. you might recall my original plan was to return to school to get an advanced degree in physics so I could teach college level and do research, but then I started substitute teaching and fell in love with teaching kids! I know, right? Who would have thought. I especially love teaching math grades 7-12, probably because math is one of my favorite subjects. So I'm now in a post-bacc program to get my teaching license for 7-12 math, then a Master's. They do have a master's program for math where you get a master's degree along with your initial license, but I didn't have enough of the math pre-requisites. In the time it takes to get those, I can also take my licensure classes so that's what I'm doing. Then I'll continue doing the Master's program at night.

This semester I am taking 3 classes; two education classes and one math class. School is challenging but I am handling it. Mercury Man is helping a lot, and he saved most of his books so this semester I didn't have to buy any books! because I use his books for my education classes and my calculus class, the book lessons are online. Over summer I am also taking 3 classes, then in the fall it'll be 5. after that the most I'll take is 2-3 classes until I'm done in '12. Best of all, because no one wants to be a math teacher anymore apparently they are throwing money at anyone who does!! and who promises to teach in the hood for a while. I already sub for an inner city school system and plan to get a permanent teaching job with them when I get my certification anyway. In the fall I'll get a scholarship, which will help a lot!

Subbing: Ok so I LOVE teaching. I really like it and it does not seem like work when the kids are engaged and learning. I like the older kids, the grades 6-8 and then the high schoolers. I always thought before I actually started doing this that I would prefer teaching little ones, like k-3, but I don't. That age group...ugh. They cry a lot and they whine, and they are always touching me/my hair, that age group needs a lot of attention. The older kids need attention too but they are more independent.

It is challenging subbing in the hood but I don't treat them any different than I do my own kids, and I have the same high expectations of them as I do my own kids. and they respond to that too. I have had seasoned teachers ask me how I get results out of kids they had written off and it's because I don't expect them to fail. I recognize their intelligence and expect them to learn, to do their work, and act like they have some sense in the classroom. and they do.

plus I can be fun sometimes. I am a stern teacher but also goofy and the kids in the schools I regularly sub for have learned that if they get me laughing I have a hard time stopping. I rarely let them set me off but once or twice a month we might have a good laugh fest. You'd be surprised at how much this helped me with classroom management, it's like once the kids saw I was 'human' they could deal with the times I had to put the hammer on them LOL.

putting the hammer down = smashing rowdy behavior flat, nipping it in the bud. I do not play. I sometimes hear the kids saying that in the hall: Mrs BL does not play! I think they respect that and it helps a great deal in classroom management because they know it is time to learn. time to settle in and do their work.

Sleep: I have been sleeping so well lately. In part due to the medication I am on but also due to my getting back into an exercise schedule (I am training for a half-marathon in May) and eating regularly again, especially breakfast. Sleep is one of the loveliest things in the world. aaaaaaaaaaaah.

Surprises: I filed the paperwork for my name change last month and go stand before the judge next month. In a month it will be official, my new name. I'm excited about it, real excited. this is something I have been thinking about for a few years and finally, I did it. They make you wait a while before it's official, which is kind of like WTF but whatever, I understand it's not a rash decision. They gave me a list of places I might want to contact about the name change which is very helpful because some places I didn't think of yet.

More: Almost done packing up the bookstore at the old location, just have a few pieces of furniture to pick up. I have a lot of the stuff at my house, just piles and piles of books:

The new location is nice in that it is close to home. I only have to pay partial rent on it until we re-open, which is nice. I'm planning a Spring opening in April, here's a little tease of my now empty front window:

More: Winter is going ok. A combination of therapy and meds has me feeling for the first time in my adult life, fully happy and un-depressed in winter. I have PTSD and it took a lot of therapy for me to connect that a lot of the traumatic things that happened to me in childhood and as a young adult happened in winter and that is a big part of why I hated winter so. I don't love winter now or anything just yet, but it is bearable. and I am actually able to see the beauty in it:

More: I am no longer a vegetarian! This is a huge event in my life because I became one at 14 and just started eating meat again last year around Thanksgiving time. It just felt right to me, in the same way not eating meat felt right to me. So far I like mostly birds and seafood but lately also have gotten into pork:

though I still make and eat lots and lots of vegetarian meals! as Scott is still a vegetarian and Todd is mostly. here's some falafel Mercury Man made:

More: My kids are awesome. The boys are getting just HUGE, Scott put his hand over my face the other day horsing around and his hand covered my entire face LOL. Todd is gaining on me height-wise and he's only 12!! Soon I will be the shortest person in the house. Both are doing well in school and very much into their activities. Iyende is going into her 2nd year living in her own apartment, she is an amazing young lady and I so proud of her. She goes back to school in the summer and will be going to CSU with me, that will be so fun! When I was first at CSU I used ot bring her to school with me often so it will be neat to be with her there now that she's a student too.

More: Planning our Renewal Vows! We're finally going to do it this year in June. This is our 11th year married, 14th year being together, and 16th year knowing each other. Sometimes it feel like forever that Mercury Man has been in my life, sometimes it feels like we just met last week. I love this man so, and he loves me so. Plus he's so cute

We are going to have a short and simple ceremony at one of the beaches right by Lake Erie, then on to the reception and party where we will dance the night away. Then we're going to Montreal for our honeymoon, which is exciting because we never had a honeymoon, on our wedding day we just went to the courthouse and then both went to work!! I've been to Montreal before and it is a lovely city, Mercury Man has never been but he is eager to see it. Both learning french now so we aren't too inept at communicating when we get there.

I am in a good place in my life. I am happy, and content.

So who is watching Lost tonight? I am!! Both husband and I are huge fans so this is what we'll be doing tonight for our date night. I can't believe how excited I am, I was totally over the show last season and hardly watched it. but then I got back into it and got caught up on the episodes. I just want to know what's going on, finally!

This show ought to win an award for longest running cliffhanger( EVER!

We went to Cincinnati to visit my folks this past Christmas. While we were in town we visited Krohn Conservatory. This is a wonderful place that I have fond memories of visiting as a child. It had a huge influence on me, and is a big part of why I like plants so much.
www.cincinnatiparks.com/krohn-conservatory/index.shtml

Some pics of the Conservatory, a little lovely view of green during these bleak winter months:

from the site:
Thing-a-day is a yearly creative sprint that is held every February and brings together hundreds of creative minds. The idea is simple: sign up is open to anyone and participants commit to create one new thing a day every day for the entire month of February and post it on the collective blog.

Participants can work in any medium and are free to follow-up on their commitment or not.
http://thing-a-day.com/

I'm doing it, care to join me? Sign up before February 1st.

I was having so much trouble with contacts,
I decided to just go with glasses.
Here is my new pair:)

Our cat Skittles has started the annoying habit of drinking out of any glass he sees. We indulged this behavior because at first it was funny but now he acts all snotty about drinking out of his bowl LOL. He hunches his shoulders up and sticks his nose in the air when we fill the water bowl up

A few pics from my balcony garden! above is Bell Pepper

Cherry Tomatoes

Okra

More Bell Pepper

I've been pretty good about posting garden progress to my garden/eco/food/thrifty blog, so you can see more balcony pics and in-ground garden pics here: Family Earthprint

other gardening mamas, how's yours going?

hands down for me it's running! because it is so fun and when you hit your stride, the feeling of bliss is incredible. and I don't have to go to the gym to do it, I can just zip out my front door! In a close second is the elliptical machine, because it is such a high calorie burn and no impact, it doesn't even feel like you're pushing your body as hard as you are. In a close third is walking, because it is so easy to do and can be done outdoors in all weather (running in winter where I live can be quite dangerous, ice slicks on the road and whatnot) as well as indoors on a treadmill or just marching in front of the tv.

I'm working so much I'm finding it hard to make time for exercise. I'm off today so had a quick 2 mile walk and plan a 3 mile run in the evening. I'm going to take some time to work my exercise schedule out, I know at the very least I can walk a mile every morning before work, that's just 12 minutes. I'll do it right after yoga. I'd like to get in a good long run (for me that's 5miles) at least twice a week and to the gym at least twice a week. I also need to work out my eating plan. I need to get back to making my lunch and taking my snacks, and sticking to whole foods as much as possible. and water! lots and lots of water.

I need to get back into my blog Supple Mama too:
http://supplemama.com
I think I'll post my workouts daily, and food issues. More posts about how I'm feeling, struggling with food and stuff like that. I'm thinking of opening it up as a community blog, not sure though.

Today’s health/fitness goals:
30 minutes yoga
Walk 2 miles
Run 3 miles
100 oz. water
Raw veggies for snacks
Raw fruit for dessert
One serving meals, no seconds
No salt added to food
Brush & floss after every meal
Bedtime when sleepy, wake up 6am

I'm an introvert and a very shy person. On top of that I have flares of social anxiety. This last flare-up was combined with depression and was really bad, now that I'm out of the worst of it I would say it was a mini-nervous breakdown. Anyway! The thread on playdates bought of lots of talk about being an introvert and social interaction and stuff. A good point sebsmom made was how people who are not introverts don't understand that it's not a choice, it's simply the way we are naturally wired.

I have this great book on personality development I'll have to look for, it really went into detail on the major differences between extroverts and introverts and it explained something about myself that seemed/seems to baffle most extroverts: Why I like to spend lots of time alone, why I crave peace and quiet, why I tend to prefer low-key socializing over boisterous parties, and stuff like that. It's because introverts are naturally high energy and naturally have nerves set on edge and on the excitement high point, so even just being around other people can be too much and overwhelming for our nerves let alone loud situations. Whereas extroverts tend to be low energy and to have nerves set on the low point, so they naturally tend to seek excitement outside themselves; to like being around other people, loud exciting parties, going vibrant places, being in a large crowd. I thought this was very interesting.

I don't mind being an introvert but I do wish other people didn't take it personally...for example at schools and jobs and stuff, wanting to just sit quietly and read a book or go for a walk alone or even sit in my car (because the lunch/break room was just too noisy) is generally taken as signs of standoffish behavior by extroverts. I suppose it doesn't help that my outside doesn't match my inside; for some reason people tend to expect me to be all loud and outgoing and the life of the party or something. Often folks don't believe I am shy and just keep at me and at me to be this extroverted person they've decided I am. That is very annoying and even quite a bit scary sometimes.

Another good point sebsmom made was that while many introverts have social anxiety it's not always the case nor is the reverse true, that every person with social anxiety is an introvert. but yah I'd like to talk about ways in which we deal with this if you do have social anxiety. In addition to therapy I take St. John's Wort and 5-htp, both OTC supplements you can buy online or at most drug stores in the states.

some things to think on/talk about if you're an introvert:
How do you meet new people?
Is your SO/ex SO an introvert?
Are your kids introverted?
Do you also have social anxiety?
Do you consider yourself to be shy also?
What helps you; how do you deal?
How do you feel when people you don't know talk to you?
How do you behave at parties?
Do you have close friends?
Is meeting/making new friends something you want to do?
How often do you socialize?

I'm currently working on a new throw for my couch, it's made out of denim from old jeans. I'm about done with it, will post a pic when finished. Some new kitchen stuff; some potholders and a new apron. A fleece skirt, I'm almost done with it too. It's pinned together and everything, just need to finish sewing it. I'm doing it in bits and pieces of time:

The depression-era recipes/cooking show got me thinking about my own old-fashioned ways of cooking, growing food, and running a house and I was curious as to what all ya'll do. Has the current state of the economy affected this any for you?

Off work today from my job so I was going to sleep in and then go vote before heading in to my bookstore. Been hearing about long lines, but that's never been a problem where I live; I wasn't too worried about it. But when Mercury Man was getting ready to go to work I decided to go with him. Boy am I glad I did!

Seriously. and why do so many women actually pay cash money for these clothes? Do they not have mirrors? Do they not feel uncomfortable after 10 seconds in these clothes? Some things I have been noticing lately...

Some of the conversations I read on hipmama and other progressive sites are remarkably similar to some of the conversations I read on conservative mama sites and other sites that are, to put it mildly, less liberal. There is this tendency in both groups to pin folks to the wall to declare their opinion on a subject and then blast them if they are not progressive or conservative or whatever enough.

I've been so busy most of this year, shopping has been hit-or-miss. but I had a nice stocked pantry I could always turn to to make most of the things we need from scratch. But now my pantry is sorely depleted. I'm all out of stuff I canned, all out of flour, even almost out of dried beans. So I'm stocking up, and was curious about what you keep in your pantry. Some of what I do:

dried beans (red, black, pinto, navy)
flour (unbleached, wheat, bran)
sugar (granulated sugar, powdered sugar, brown sugar
honey
rice (brown & white)
starter dough (in fridge)

In one of toddlerspit's blogs she talks about buying a new teapot every 6 months or so because they get so grungy. I posted how to clean it and keep it looking new inside and out. This was one of the many housekeeping things I didn't know about either. My MIL taught me this, when one day out of exasperation she asked me why didn't I clean the teapot (we are big tea drinkers in my house, the teapot stays on the stove).

Mamaneen's post gave me a lot to think about and I'd like to share ideas on how we each choose to reduce our ecological impact. I'll be adding and editing this blog in a bit, just wanted to get this out there. Here are some things I do:

On another blog it was suggested that I write a separate blog post about how I got away from the man who abused me. As you may know I have an outside hipmama blog called Beyond Battered that is about what I went through. I am getting my story out in bits and pieces...truthfully it is very hard to re-visit the mental state I was in at the time but I am finding it therapeutic.

I loved seeing Lapina's pics about the recycled bags. That is so ultra cool! So I wanted to share a little of the upcycling I've been doing lately. Or actually reconstructed clothing, ahem. You can click on the pics to see them bigger.

I have been trying to open a bookstore for over a year now...I've had 2 places lined up including partnering with a couple who wanted to open a cafe. The two storefronts opened into each other but the owner was willing to rent them seperate or together. Anyway that fell through because they are now on the verge of divorce, and I can't afford to lease it by myself.

So I am looking today at a spot that is just perfect for my indie bookstore. It's right next to a piercing place and a thrift store and an indie jewelry/bead store. I would fit right in. Vibe me please, I surely appreciate it!!