Birdie's blog

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Mmmmmm... Hired a babysitter and now I feel luxuriously pampered and content.

Mon, 09/18/2006 - 20:53 -- Birdie

I found an incredible college student to watch Pookie once or twice a week when I'm home so I can get my homework done- she's a friend of my younger brother's girlfriend and she is so sweet. She sings to my baby folk songs with this beautiful voice, likes to play guitar, offered to do a kitchen full of dishes, LET ME TAKE A BATH, and all I did was feed her and pay her. Damn, she was worth every penny for a moment of sanity- I wonder how may more hours out of her I can get when my school grant/scholarship/loan money comes in???? And she knew just what to do with my baby. No problem. I feel like the luckiest mother right now- and Pookie loves her- he walks up to her and gives her hugs! Oh yeah, he started walking two weeks ago and now he goes room to room, carrying things and babbling.

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Any thoughts, advice fellow mamas?

Mon, 09/04/2006 - 09:51 -- Birdie

Anyone out there have a family member they won't leave their child alone with? Well, for personal reasons and practical ones (my mother has to take roundtheclock pain meds for a chronic back problem and gets very sleepy and spacy) I won't let my mother watch my son alone. However, I have not spoken with her about this- and because I am not comfortable yet confronting her with the personal reasons I have for not wanting her to watch him alone (the last time we spoke about those reasons was the week I ran away from home when I was 17) I will tell her I'm not comfortable because of her back problem.

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Tired of living in a "managed property" (subsidized housing) run by Catholic charity

Mon, 08/07/2006 - 19:47 -- Birdie

I NEED more privacy and feel distinctly as though I am being treated
like a sinner by a few of the housing people working for the managed property I live in. Really sick of the attitude. I was just talked to like I was a grade school troublemaker by one of the ladies who locks the door at night- I was polite, then I went inside and was so angry I started crying. I was trying to tie up my cherry tomato plant which had broken from the wind and sits RIGHT NEXT TO THE FRONT DOOR and NO, I did not have my key. I haven't been made to feel that worthless and humiliated since I was in third grade and there was a new rule instated that you had to ask the lunchmonitor if you could move to a different table and I ALWAYS followed the rules...

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A Prayer for Patience

Sat, 07/29/2006 - 04:44 -- Birdie

And this is coming from someone who, while not exactly AGAINST prayer, believes in action not wishes but the action is hard to find. The act of cultivating patience within myself. I see it everyday when I run around like crazy trying to get everything done and more- it seems like I had plenty of patience before my son was born, but now maybe because he is the greatest motivator I've ever had, it burns me up inside everytime something holds me back. This translates into me yelling at my boyfriend, my son's father, who moves at a much slower, albeit hardworking pace than I do and doesn't always understand things the first, second, or even third time I say them.

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There truly is something to Killing Your Television.....

Mon, 06/26/2006 - 06:46 -- Birdie

Or at least telling your boyfriend you gave it to the neighbors and hiding it in the closet. It's been two months or so without the tv now and after a week of minor withdrawl (Jon Stewart, Red Sox, Adult Swim and Alton Brown) the urge had completely passed- even the urge to watch movies, which we used to do a lot of- we kind of realized there is a lot of crap out there, and now that I have to pay $7 to do out to a flick, I'm much much choosier about what I expose my retina to. We also NEVER fight now, our son is crawling, walking holding onto furniture and saying his first words at 8 1/2 months and is very happy to get more of our undivided attention.

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Convertible Car Seats

Sat, 05/06/2006 - 22:02 -- Birdie

Hi mamas! I could use some advice as to which car seat to put my son in- he's about 19-20lbs, and more than 27 inches- we started with a basic Graco Infant seat, which was very cosy for him, but it's time to get a new size. The local toy & baby store's employees will only talk about how great the Sunspot Radian carseat is- but I have 2, well, 3 concerns:
1st, the PRICE! anything for safety though, right? it's a steel frame, and carries up to 60lbs of child...
2nd, the seat is so low, I doubt he'll be able to see out of the windows in the back seat until he's 2 or 3. I don't know about you, but I remember really enjoying the view as a child.

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Another Saturday Night

Sat, 04/01/2006 - 17:09 -- Birdie

Uggh. I just feel like crying. I had thought I was going to a party with a friend who came to town to visit- he had even said I should come on the phone- but when he came over to visit, he briefly mentioned going to the party and left to meet up with a friend and go, but didn't ask me to come with him! And it's one of the rare Sat. nights when my boyfriend isn't working. So I should go out, but I'm too emotional now and I felt too awkward about asking if I could go to the party too- but I had kind of planned my night around it! Now all of my childless friends already have plans for tonight, I'm sure of it, and I know if I call up my friend Lola she'll invite me to come along, as long as she's not on a date, but that feels too pathetic to me- I don't want to be asked if I want to tag along out of pity.

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Today was a really hard day...

Sun, 03/26/2006 - 19:25 -- Birdie

Wow. I just need to clear a space in my head and so I'm writing this blog- it's not very positive, so be forewarned. This week has been really rough for my family- flu, stupid cat scan that turned out fine but left me humiliated and unable to breast-feed for 48 hours, which was terrible for my son, who just looked broken and sad and became dehydrated because he won't take a bottle. We ended up dropper feeding him water in the early hours of the am because his little skull was concave. And it should have been a better day today- my fever is gone, but the house was a MESS and my partner had to work all day and all I managed was to eat a crappy lunch and shower- that's about it- until I went to pick up bf at work and drop off a video.


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