Birdie's blog

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Sharing.

Sun, 07/24/2011 - 20:38 -- Birdie

Wanting to share. Feeling not as anonymous as I once did. Feeling trepidation about writing because I have a few friends now who have mentioned HipMama and now it's all fun and paranoia. Craving anonymity, privacy- what's the good of journalling online if it adds stress to your life? Feeling need to express myself.

I will boil it down to 3(5) words:

DISAPPOINTED.
INWARD.
BOOK.

Thank you.

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Hanging in there.

Tue, 06/21/2011 - 22:07 -- Birdie

Trying to refocus my energies inward, not in the sense that I am withdrawing anymore (see last blog post) but in that I need to really nurse myself through this. Fighting off depression- don't think it's biological, feel like it has more to do with events in my life, this break-up that I'm 3 weeks away from now just triggered some of my worries, fears, old hurts, sadness.

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Withdrawing

Tue, 06/07/2011 - 03:48 -- Birdie

The guy I was with turned out to be a douchebag (several friends have used this word to describe him, so I'll leave it there). Went from being this amazing loving man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with to treating me strangely, going through my e-mails, all that fun stuff. It has sucked for the last couple months. It's over now, but it did a number on my trust. I really loved him. I am heartbroken, but at least I know that if he's not willing to work on his problems it leaves us as nothing.

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Alaina Giordano Should Not Lose Her Kids Because She Has Breast Cancer

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 07:31 -- Birdie

Please take a moment to sign the petition for Alaina. She is fighting breast cancer- her malicious "weekend dad" ex took the opportunity to swoop in and take custody of the kids just when she needs them and their love the most. She is every mother. Unfortunately, it could happen to any of us, so please, take a moment & read her story. To make it even more special, her ex has been physically abusive to her in the past & is out lawyering her. There is no love here, no thought for what might be best for the kids on his part.

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If I was a boy.

Fri, 12/17/2010 - 12:32 -- Birdie

This is heavy stuff. I post it in the spirit of purging, not to bring anyone down. I thought I'd invite others to write their own "If I were a boy" pieces below, if they feel so inclined. If I was a boy, I could write an "If I was a girl" list too, I'm sure- it's just that, well, I'm not a boy. I can't facebook about stuff like this, and I feel like I need to share some of my thoughts with other women.

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Hey Mamas

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 06:24 -- Birdie

I've missed you.

The last family member whom I really felt unconditional love from died. It was stark view of death & family dynamics.

Someone I was close to off and on for years has been charged with a terrible crime. Which has been stressful.

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My son woke me up every single hour of the night again last night.

Thu, 10/21/2010 - 05:36 -- Birdie

I have a day full of things to do. The night before last, it was just twice. The night before that, 5 times. I can't do this anymore. I'm beginning to think this is a way for him to get attention. It's causing me to be either a walking zombie or totally unreliable at crucial moments. It's robbing me of the chance to have a functioning life.

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On a completely different note, I'm seeing someone.

Wed, 09/15/2010 - 18:43 -- Birdie

He (I know, a guy- a hairy one too) is pretty wonderful.

I'm not one to gush. I was kind of like "eh" but he grew on me in personality and now in looks. He didn't seem to be my type at all, I am still astounded to find myself staring at the cleft in his chin, which used to strike me as grotesque and overchinny somehow. You know, like a butt-chin. But now I just want to kiss it, and I sigh and think of Cary Grant. It's kind of gross like that. Sorry.

I'll stop now.

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