But when the camera is off the truth comes out.

So I dropped him off for his first day and with a kiss good bye he was off playing leaving me behind. We decided that he is ready for something different in his life. I am afraid he is getting bored at home with just me as his companion most days. I mean what kind of companion am I?--read more >>

We finally figured out the baby seat situation for my trike. I love this set-up, once I get my basket back on we are set for cooler weather and grocery shopping.

All of your love and support really means a lot to me right now. I did not respond to any PM's just because I am having a hard time talking to people one on one and just really don't have the energy. My inlaws have been above awesome. They put off a camping trip that they were packed and ready to leave for the day it happened so that they could help take care of DS while I went through the physical and emotional trauma.
It was a spontaneous miscarriage so I do not have to have any medical intervention.

Anyway I just wanted to say thanks for all of the love sent my way.

ultrasound showed it.

Woke early this morning since I had an 8:00 appt to take DS to his DR because he has pink eye. Went to the bathroom and wiped and there was the blood. I called my midwife when I saw tiny little clots and then took him to his appt.--read more >>

So I live in a city that has the WORST farmers markets ever and there really is no such thing as 'local' produce unless you can manage to grow your own in over 100 degree heat. I have been struggling with getting okay commercial produce from my favorite store, T@rget and sometimes S@feway and am tired of the meager organic choices and the crazy prices. So tomorrow I will be getting my first delivery of organic california produce from b0xed greens. It is expensive as far as per pound price, delivery price is less than $10 and the selection is just awesome.--read more >>

It is my dad's name and I once thought that it would make a good girls name. I have some names bouncing inside of my head and this is one that I can not decide if I like or not.

Well we just returned home from an awesome 9 day vacation in No Cal. We took a 4 night road trip up through the redwoods, rode an old train and just had a great time. DS did great, not one meltdown the entire trip! That includes almost 1000 miles in a car and two plane trips!
My folks have the best garden, they even planted a tee pee for him to hang out in, carved him a car out of a zucchini which included a potato family. He got to dig for worms with his grammy in the compost pile, played every day at the park and visited with the neighbours horses.
I hated coming home...--read more >>

Thanks in advance!

But it still has not sunk in that I am pregnant. I am only 4 weeks today, I can feel stuff happening to my body, I am already tired all of the time and I definitely am thinking about it constantly.--read more >>

I just needed to tell someone. Now I am getting emotional.

I guess knowing that if I get pregnant that I will not be able to touch a carb for 10 months is sending me into a baking frenzy.

Here we have plain, garlic and cinnamon rasin - the cinnamon raisin did not turn out as pretty but they are pretty tasty!

Yumm - cheddar cheese!

My naked helper--read more >>

I thought that some of you might want to sign up.

Win the Essential Babywearing Stash from Along for the Ride (one Beco Butterfly, one Hotsling baby pouch, one BabyHawk Mei Tai, one Zolowear Ring Sling, and one Gypsy Mama Wrap)

So we are planning our annual summer vacation to northern california at the end of next month. We are going for 9 days and are planning a 5 night road trip.

We are flying into Oakland and heading straight for my folks house which is about an hour north of there. We will stay for a couple of nights and then DH and DS and I are going to head up for a night in Fort Bragg and then spend the next couple of days making our way to Arcata to visit some friends before meandering back to my folks house for a couple of more nights before flying out.--read more >>

So this is the first cycle that I am going to TTC and last time it only took one cycle for me to conceive.

I had gestational diabetes and the most intervention happy midwife I have ever met, I was induced I think way before my body or baby were ready to go and started with cervicil (sp?) and after 17 hours of hard contractions and not much change I was put on pitocin and ended up having an epidural because the thought of more contractions and only being at a 3 was breaking me down.--read more >>

I totally scored at a yard sale a while back and found this machine still in the box for $25, I looked it up and it is a top of the line model and sells for over $200. I mainly use it to knead and rise and then bake in the oven.
Here is my cool new baguette pan that I have not used yet put plan on using next week

This is today's baking, I made two sourdough loaves, the other one has raisins and walnuts in it for toast. My first attempt using sourdough, yum! We ate half the load tonight!--read more >>

Well I am working on my Hipmama reading list and here is what I have read so far...

Garden Spells
http://www.amazon.com/Garden-Spells-Bantam-Discovery-Addison/dp/05535903...

Could not help but compare it to Practical Magic (movie, not the book) the ENTIRE time I was reading it so I think I am going to go read that next.

Glass Castle
http://www.amazon.com/Glass-Castle-Memoir-Jeannette-Walls/dp/B0017ODVA4/...--read more >>

I made the Hummus Bread Recipe from the King Arthur Whole Grains Baking book and it was awesome! It calls for 1 cup of hummus and since we make that a lot around here I had some on hand that needed to get used up.

Now the reason for this blog. I need you favorite bread baking book. I am looking at;

Crust and Crumb http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1580088023/ref=pd_luc_sim_01_02

Artisan Baking
http://www.amazon.com/Artisan-Baking-Maggie-Glezer/dp/1579652913/ref=pd_...

Artisan Bread in 5 minutes a Day--read more >>

And anyone that loves that almondy taste should ask her about them!

Yes we have been having it this week. DH has not said a word about it but he is in charge of bc and has never forgotten it before and it has been twice this week already. I want to say something to him but I don't want to break the spell. He knows that we have been 'discussing' having another one and what it means to me. I was going to say something last night, you know casually bring up the fact that he hasn't been going for the glove, but, um, well we got kinda busy instead. --read more >>

We have figured out why DS has been acting out more than usual, overly aggressive and suddenly can not lay down and take a nap. Early last week he had a cold and it turned into the croup, I took him to his DR and she prescribed 5 days of steroids to help with his breathing. It finally dawned on me that the reason he has become a demon is because of the steroids. My boy LOVES his nap and he has been unable to lay his head down and go to sleep. I watched him in my rear view mirror yesterday as he struggled to close his eyes and just sleep.--read more >>

oh boy. what do I do about my 2yo who is suddenly having a hard time with his emotions and is starting to lash out at me, dh and the dogs? I am trying to stop raising my voice because I know it is not helping, I just don't know how else to reach him sometimes. today at nap time he slapped me twice in the face and it took everything I had not to smack him in the butt I was so mad.--read more >>

I am starting to get my act together and make some toddler clothes to put up for sale, mostly on etsy and a few markets.

I am working on getting some tags to sew inside and was wondering what I should call myself.

I was thinkg;

Riley and Friends
Hettie Blue Designs
Kidlet
Punky-Do (nickname for boy)

Should I put my phone number on there? Etsy shop address?

Help me mama!