Hey Mamas!
Anyone else having log on problems?
Until today, I haven't been successful in logging on since my last entry.

Trula...after spending a week in Harlem...My Nappy Club Membership has definitely been renewed. I did not give in to the Chemical Fire Cream ( or the power suit:) I have never seen so many beautiful natural crowns in one place! Time to get out of the South!

Went to NY for a week to visit my 90 year old Grandma, without the ninos. It was either go visit Grandma or check myself into the hospital for a week..as I was so stressed out after everything last school year. There is just nothing like good old fashioned wisdom, plenty of walking, and healthful eating to get you back where you need to be. Grandma is a long time veg. (pretty hip for a 90 year old black woman originally from a small town in South Carolina) so we also checked out Uptown Juice Bar's carrot juice and veggie buffalo wings, which are her new favorites. Got to see my cousin Jeremy play at Cleopatra's Needle, which made me cry...because I am a dork. Feeling invigorated...ready for weight loss, ready for a great summer at home with the kids. All that.

Although I have not been blogging much lately, I still have the hipmamas in my head constantly editorializing on my life. (This is a good thing) Gigi happens to be the current hipmama voice in my head, so I am somehow thinking that she must have some words of wisdom, for me at this point. I am currently repeating a little self talk negativity thing that has been going on for a while. I am back to work, as a teacher, which I am enjoying despite the B.S. with the administration. (Thank you for the support Mamas...I imagined all of you there with the choice words you would have had to share with the admin today as I sat in a meeting:) Unfortunately, I have continued to have this little mental conversation with myself in which I start obsessing over the fact that I clearly cannot be whoever I should be or perhaps who I am until I do something more. Usually, the obsession surrounds graduate school and finding the perfect master's degree that will somehow propell me into becoming Claire Huxtable or some other fictional idea of what a modern mother should be. (I am sure much of this resurgance in the obsession is my lack of reality grounding from falling out of touch with the mamas) The administration is screwing with me, and although I have much support from other directions, I have still allowed it to affect who I see myself as being. I have totally let go of my writing, exercising, cooking for my family...and laughing. Instead I spend hours researching/obsessing about how I can make my life easier and failing to commit to anything, including the writing classes I can now finally afford, because I am overly concerned about "fixing my life". Furthermore,my coworkers, who have never seen anyone actually fight back when screwed over, are now pushing me to go back to graduate school, and become a principal so that I can "Fight the Power". In reality, I in fact have no desire to further exhaust myself and miss out on the next few years of my children's life, when I am perfectly happy in the classroom. I have noticed recently that I have begun to lose sight of the original goal which was to get a job that I could enjoy doing, pay some bills, get in a house (we just got approved for a mortgage Yeah!) all of which was to help me support my writing and being a Mama. However, I have once again fallen into the mental trap that if I don't do things in the traditional way...I suck. Several of my friends have gone back to graduate school..and of course having that sick competitive mentality that I do, I am thinking "If SHE can do it I should be able to! She has kids! She has a full time job! What the hell is wrong with me?" The result being that I am not at all mentally present in my day to day life, because my mind is constantly in the future. I become annoyed when others try to have a conversation with me, about normal everyday things...(Can't they see I am busy worrying for God's sake?) I seem to remember having a similar conversation about this last summer, and I believe that Gigi seemed to be well grounded in that regard. Thus, she is the current hipmama voice of wisdom in my head.

Year End

It is spring time in San Antonio
The weather has dropped to a “cool� 75 degrees each morning
My student’s file inside the classroom,
wearing sweaters over khaki uniform shorts.

The bell rings, class has ended,
and they are reluctant to step outside,
knowing that the ripe smell
of left over cafeteria breakfast
is baking in the
dumpster standing just outside my classroom.
They think of excuses to linger,
“¿Necesitas ayuda Maestra?�

I read aloud to them for “just five more minutes�
in our little tin can, portable classroom
where we bake like so many small brown tropical flowers

I had a Moment today
of reflection,
brief,
so subtle as to almost
go unacknowledged,
sitting in the back of my mind,
on the drive
from work to the babysitter
enough to keep me from filling the space
with cell phone calls to friends

Met a woman today in passing
we paused briefly,
seeing something familiar
in each other's faces,

I seeing I
She seeing She
Her seeing where she's been
Me seeing where I can go...
we shake similarly soft
and cinnamon colored hands.

Remembering, she reaches up about to touch my hair,
but knowing it would be too intimate
for strangers,

My 22 year old brother has been evicted from his apartment and is sleeping wrapped in a blanket on the floor in the living room of my already too small apartment. I am annoyed he is using the pillows from the couch I paid for on layaway for 18 months, our first that was not a hand-me-down. I am allergic to cats and have paid no pet deposit, so his cat sleeps on the patio. She sits at the glass door watching him and hissing at my husband when he opens the door just to slide out on the patio and smoke a cigarette. She is annoyed because he has not opened it wide enough for her to slip through his legs and inside. She takes it personally, not understanding my allergies or his worry that the sliding glass door will get off its track again if he opens it too wide.

Do we have moderators? How do we get in touch with them. I really want someone to take that rude mean, and offensive photo posted by SecretHipmama off of batgirl's blog. Is it impossible?

Hey Mamas!
I've been really busy for the past month or so, but I wanted to let y'all know I got a job. My contract was signed as of Friday July 9. I am clearly being watched over by the universe because I got a job at the first school I interviewed with. I was so happy because when the prinicipal called to schedule my interview and told me about the position it sounded like exactly what I was looking for. I am also very excited because I was desirous of working at an inner city elementary school, but concerned I would have to work out in the suburbs where I live because it would pay more, and my budget is squeaking right now. However, I was excited to find out that the school district pays quite a bit more per year than the one where I live. It is also not very far from me, even though it is in another district, it is on the outskirts of downtown, and in the same direction as I live, so I don't actually have to pass through downtonw to get there...which was another concern (if that makes any sense at all). Things are looking up for the Freedafamily. Sometimes patience pays off. So as leighanastasia says Freedamoma can now freeda children's minds as a special education resource/inclusion teacher!

I ordered this book for my kids a few weeks ago,having no idea what it was. It turned out to be great, and then one of my teachers today was mentioning it and said that her school, and apparently several schools are basing their curriculum on it I think is called "Core Knowledge". It is very user friendly for homeschoolers, and my kids love it. It is thorough without being tedious, and the lessons are really easy to use. All of the information (even the stories, poems, and photographs)is right there in the book, so basicly all you need to do is read it to your child, and do the activities outlined, it is geared towards parents, so the activities are very usable for one on one. I am unable to paste the Amazon link but the name of the series is:

Hey Mamas, I gotta go get my score report from the Teaching Certification people. I passed the test. There is much Jesus praising is going on around my house! I am so excited. Thank y'all for all the support you've been giving me. I wanted you all to be the first to know. Trula, I hope I had your correct email address, because I actually forwarded my results to you! I am so relieved and excited.