Anna Quindlen, Newsweek Columnist and Author

All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost-adults, two taller than I am, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that
make me laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like. Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, barely discernib le except through the unreliable haze of the past.

Quick, right now?

My SO and I have this thing...we find that we constantly have totally weird and random songs in our head. Sometimes they're things that we heard in the background at a store or on a commercial or something like that, but sometimes they seem to come from nowhere. What is the deal with that, anyway? The brain does weird shit, I guess. Yesterday, I stepped outside the office for a moment and found that the song in my head was "Crimson and Clover." So random.

We have this cat. He was my daughter's gift for her 3rd birthday. Really, he's quite laid-back and the perfect cat to have in the house with two preschoolers--loves the attention of the kids chasing him around and doesn't mind when my dd lugs him about like a sack of potatoes. But nighttime...this is becoming a real problem. He's only about 9 months old and still in kitten "play" mode. He's an indoor cat so I realize he has some energy to get out. Unfortunately his hunting instincts and desire to play generally come through at around 4 a.m., when he wakes my SO up by attacking his feet and legs and, when thrown off our bed, proceeds to go into my daughter's room and attack *her* legs, waking her up, crying, yelling for mama and begging me to get the kitty cat out of her room. ("Mom, close the door as FAR as you can!!!") So anyway, anyone have any suggestions? I am sleep deprived because of this damn cat. Love him to death but the middle-of-the-night attacks are pretty much ruining my whole week.

Just wanted to say thanks to all you mamas for your kind, helpful suggestions and equally-as-helpful commiseration in regard to the somewhat willful and challenging behavior of three-year-olds. I am happy to report that this morning involved no tears on my part, and that dressing proved to be a success, helped in part by picking an outfit before bed last night. I really think that's something that will work for Selah. Of course, our morning did not remain completely incident-free as the "I'm-a-big-girl/I'm-a-little-girl" clash continued when I had an armload full of stuff but Selah wanted to be carried to the car. The tears came when I said i couldn't because I had full hands, and she crumpled to the floor, but my going to the door and heading outside caused her to quickly follow. We then arrived at school where she again became tearful--she transitioned into a Pre-K class about a week ago and has thus far been very excited about it, but this morning she was not feeling very confident and wanted to go back to her toddler class. Again, a happy smile and "big girl" encouragement and an imaginary "baby Godzilla" chase (living with boys has introduced her to Godzilla, who she for some god-awful reason appears to love) and discussion about how sad her Pre-K friends would be if she wasn't there proved fruitful.

Groan. 3-year-olds and not listening. The past three mornings I have been in tears. The last two nights for dinner I have been in tears. Mornings consist of screaming fits about getting dressed, nearly every day. Doesn't matter what I pick for her to wear. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter what times she goes to bed at night. Screaming fits. Every fucking day. Dinnertime--working on getting her to sit in her chair and eat her food without throwing it on the floor or getting down to run circles around the table or pull the cat's tail or whathaveyou. I put her in time out if she doesn't sit at the table "like a big girl" but these days I'm having trouble even getting her to sit in time out. I can't get her to brush her teeth when I ask. i can't get her to get in the bath tub when I ask.

This is kind of embarrassing, so please bear with me, but I am really trying to deal with my feelings about it and not doing so very successfully. My SO and I work together. We met in the workplace. It seems kind of fun and okay to date someone you work with, but I guess it can get complicated after a while. We are now living together as well, and we work really closely together, not just in the same building, but on the same "team" in the same department.

So he was recently promoted. I should have been very proud of and excited for him, right? I wanted to be. i had thought I would be. But I wasn't. I felt sort of shafted and bitter about the whole thing. I was kind of taken aback by my reaction and am embarrassed about it, but for some reason I can't shake it. He and I have worked here for basically the same amount of time. We've worked on similar projects. He's been given a lot of leadership opportunities, and I have not. There may be various reasons that he was given those leadership opportunities and i wasn't. But here's the thing: I feel like we have equal skill at our job. In some ways I feel like I actually have a better natural skill at what we do than he does. We just do things a little differently. He is slow and methodical. I kick ass at learning and getting things done quickly, without a whole lot of mistakes. The other difference is that he is very friendly and outgoing. I am much more introverted. Am I hard to work with? No. I think I'm actually pretty easy to work with. (I think, anyway.) But I don't go out of my way to talk to everyone in the office. Just how I am. I keep to myself. I don't kiss ass.

My SO's son, age 4 and a half, has been having some behavioral problems at school recently. We were talking to our therapist about it today and he recommended fish oil supplements as something that could possibly help to reduce anxiety and heighten his mood. Anyone have any experience/success giving fish oil supplements to their kids? If so, any thoughts on the best form in which to administer it/dosage/etc.?

But I think the nursing has finally come to an end! We have been waning on the nursing for quite a while...really only for a minute or so at night before bed and occassionally in the morning, but prior to and after Selah's 3rd birthday, I started talking to her about how she was a big girl and soon wouldn't need to nurse anymore. I don't think she's been getting any milk for quite some time, just comfort sucking a little bit here and there. It's been getting more and more uncomfortable for me. So finally, last night, when she got into bed and asked to nurse, I said no. She threw a very small fit, during which I said, "We can cuddle and hug but you are a big girl now and don't need to nurse anymore!" Finally, she said, "Okay, then I want to ride the school bus!" Chuckle. But she calmed down quickly and all was fine.

...that voters had no problem electing enough Democrats to completely control the entire U.S. Congress, that multiple states with long Republican histories have now elected Democratic governors (in some cases, for the first time in decades), that voters in several states have also given Democrats power in their state Congresses, and that voters in South Dakota slammed that fucking abortion ban bullshit...

BUT...

gay marriage bans passed in EIGHT states?!?! I can't even begin to express how wrong I think this kind of legislation is.

There is something seriously wrong with this picture.

I'm curious what people think about smoking bans. My state has included on the ballot for next week's election a constitutional amendment that would ban smoking in all public places. They've also included a separate issue, not a constitutional amendment, that would give businesses the choice as to whether or not to allow smoking in certain areas. I've been emailing with some friends and family who are considering how to vote on those issues, and my sister had something interesting to say:

"I would prefer to have smoke free restaurants and bars; however, I see this as a government control issue. If they control this, what else will they try to control? I am in favor