So, I've been reading a lot of the Friendly Atheist blog recently (he's not always friendly, but whatever) and I've been thinking about Atheism. Right at this moment in my life, I would consider myself to be an atheist.
Apple=the fruit of knowledge=sex.
Apple blossom=proof that the apple tree had sex.
Blossom=flower and flowers unfurl like newborn babies do.
Blossom=beginning of the fruit, but still tender and fragile.
Lots of family associations with apples: the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, mom and apple pie, the apple of my eye (and for me, there's Apple Records, becaus I'd like to think that i'm related to the Beatles, even though I'm not). (BTW I googled Apple Blossom Postpartum, and I got Luna Pads, made by a hipmama...)
....and I took an awesome dark fusion bellydancing class, changed from AT und T to C*mcast, made some chicken porridge for T-Dizzle, had a nice convo with the guy who was fixing my oven--his wife is pregnant with kid #2 and they might be in need of a postpartum doula (still no biz name, no cards, ust wrote my name and phone # on a post-it note), took a walk in my hipster neighborhood, hung out with T and Mr.
I think I need to take a break from my relationship with Blondy, and I'm bummed about it. Basically, I think he has a tendency towards being lazy as well as selfish (I can't say that it's worse than any other man, but it's a problem in comparison to my life), and it's affecting every part of the relationship--but I really have to draw the line at sex.
For my new doula biz. Yankee Doula Dandy, while hilarious, is probably not the best bet for attracting scared new moms. Kinda considering Placenta Music, which is an homage to my old band. PlacentaMom dot com is taken. I don't need a website, but I don't really want that name, either. Thoughts, oh wise mamas?
1. Cuz you left me.
2. For my family.
3. For my heartache.
4. For my headaches.
5. For my loneliness.
6. For my sorrow.
7. N-no-n-no tomorrow.
8. I forget what 8 was for.
9. For the lost god.
10. Is for everything, everything, everything, everything!!
So, I was taking a post partum doula class today, and we were talking about PPD and PP psychosis, and for the first time, ever, I admitted out loud to another person, in fact a room full of people, that I had post-partum psychosis with T-Dizzle. Heard voices, was paranoid, was suicidal, was almost catatonic at one point, just completely out of my mind crazy scared, and unable even to ask for help, because one thing I kept hallucinating was that there were men in white lab coats coming up the stairs to my apartment to take me and lock me away.
So, my doc wants me to get a mammogram. There's no breast cancer in my family (either side), I breastfed for almost 7 years, and I have no other risk factors other than being a woman over 40. Studies, pro and con either way?
Shadeshaman: I mean, I breastfed my kids...
Friend 1: Um...why wouldn't you? I can't think of a single reason not to. Unless you don't have health insurance...in which case, I'm not sure...
Friend 2:I'm with her on this.